


to build a home

by vennilave



Series: to build a home [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Fools in Love, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Levi in glasses, Modern AU, Oral Sex, Pegging, Sexual Harassment, Suggestive Themes, Vaginal Sex, levi has feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:13:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25907128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vennilave/pseuds/vennilave
Summary: A modern au where you and levi both work for the Survey Corps, a non-profit organization with a mission to help the youth of the Underground District.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Series: to build a home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928311
Comments: 43
Kudos: 117





	1. beyond the drapes

This day is bound to be a long one- it’s only 10 AM and you’ve already been in back to back meetings with several of donors for the foundation. You’ve been in meetings for the last three and a half hours, your toasted bagel now cold and your second cup of coffee now empty. You sigh and roll your shoulders back, pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance.

These rich types would be the death of you. But Erwin had specifically asked you to handle the rich donors. As if Hange or Levi would be able to sit through even _one_ of these ass-kissing phone calls. You can hear sugary sweetness dripping off of your tongue with practiced patience and you hardly recognize it. It’s an out of body experience. As words are rolling off your tongue, you wonder how Levi would fare with this responsibility.

He’d complain the whole time and then tell the person on the other end of the video call to fuck off and get their heads out of their asses. The thought makes you scoff and you clear your throat to cover the sound.

Erwin knew your strengths and weaknesses as individuals and a team, and you were grateful for such an insightful boss and friend. 

Once you seal the third donation of the morning, you take your headset off and rub your temples. You’re glad you’re free until noon, giving you some time to catch up on emails and catch up with your colleagues and friends. The drapes in your office were drawn back, illuminating your office in a faint sunny glow. Today, the sun was hiding behind the clouds so it wasn’t terribly bright. 

And yes, you had _drapes_ in your office. They were a midnight blue with threads of gold embroidered throughout. Everyone else had normal blinds, but you had seen these drapes while window shopping years ago for this new office and you knew it belonged. Something about the blue and gold made you feel royal and regal. As if this was _yours_ and _yours_ only.

That didn’t mean that Levi didn’t tell you how stupid your drapes were and how stupid you were at least once daily- _“You think this is a stupid castle or something? You hear yourself?”_

To which you would prompt reply, _“if this was a castle, you’d be the damn gargoyle in front. The one that scares everyone away.”_

And then he’d just _‘tch’_ at you and roll his eyes.

What an ass.

You’re growing restless, so you lock your computer and get up to stretch your muscles for a few minutes. Sitting for hours at a time does a number on you in ways that you’d never expect- your shoulders sometimes hurt, your lower back, even your ass.

Maybe you need a better seat and desk setup, you muse. Walking down the hallway with your cold bagel in your left hand, you rotate your right shoulder and wince. You pass several of the new hires, Eren and Jean who seem to be bickering amongst themselves but straighten up and say ‘good morning’ to you as you pass.them. You give them a smile and a wave, continuing on your way.

You stop by Hange’s office, where her door is wide open and papers are strewn all over the place. She’s viciously typing on her computer as she pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose in between each word. Her hair is in disarray and you sigh when you knock on her door.

“Hange,” You call, “Did you stay up all night again?”

"Huh? No way,” Hange gasps, looking at the time, “I just got caught up with things! You know- I’m _this_ close to finishing this grant proposal! Look how much money we’re gonna get outta them! They won’t know what hit ‘em-”

“ _Hange_ ,” You say firmly, “I’m calling you a cab to go home. Go to sleep. I don’t trust you to drive home, considering you’ve been up all night.”

“ _What?!_ I can drive-”

“ _Hange!_ ” You interrupt her, “I’m serious! Come back tomorrow. Take it easy.”

She slumps in her chair in defeat and removes her glasses, rubbing her eyes in fatigue. “Oh alright. I guess I’m a little tired.”

“See you tomorrow, Hange,” You salute and point to your phone, “Cab’s on it’s way.”

With that, you make your way further down the hallway and come to a stop in front of Levi’s office. You knock and immediately open the door without allowing a moment of rest in between.

“What’s the point of knocking if you’re just going to barge in?” Levi asks, eyes still on his computer screen. 

“It’s much more dramatic, and we both know you would’ve left me waiting. Because you’re an ass,” You reply good-naturedly, sliding into the seat in front of his desk and propping your legs up on his desk. Your shoes are in his face and he pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

“To what do I owe this most shitty pleasure?” Levi says, eyes narrowed at your bagel, “You here to ruin my office? Last time you were here I had to spend an hour cleaning it-”

You bite your tongue at the response you _want_ to provide to that.

“No reason. Just have been on calls all morning. Was bored,” You shrug and wince at the slight shoulder movement.

Levi quirks an eyebrow at you but says nothing. He continues typing away, seemingly ignoring you as you munch on your half of the bagel. Once you’re finished with it, he throws a banana at you wordlessly. You fail to hide your smile.

“You’ll get hungry in about an hour with that shitty bagel. And then I’ll have to hear about it,” Levi says tonelessly, eyes trained on you. You roll your eyes at him and peel your banana.

“So you gave me this banana to shut me up?”

“Yes, it’s in my own best interest.”

A comfortable silence falls between the both of you. You eye the snow globe that you had gotten him for Christmas and his birthday on his shelf. It looks as if you had purchased it for him yesterday, when in reality it was over five years old. His office is as clean as ever, just like him.

“That’s a nice shirt,” You murmur, eyes raking over him shamelessly, “Who’s the lucky person who bought it for you?”

And honestly, he wants to do something about the smug smirk on your face. But instead he just stares at you, face as impassive as ever. His hair falls into his eyes with a practiced poise. You see the corners of his lips turn up, nearly _daring_ to give you something resembling a smile.

“What makes you think I didn’t buy it myself?”

“Come on, Levi. You and I both know your sense of style is… questionable most times.”

" _My_ sense of style? You really want to talk about your shitty drapes?” Levi asks, but you sense no malice in his voice.

“My drapes? Wouldn’t _you_ like to know if the curtains match the drapes-”

“I can’t think of anything worse to know.”

You gasp in indignation, hand to your heart. “Don’t be such an _ass!_ ”

“Then don’t be such a _brat!_ ”

“Ugh,” You groan, standing up from your seat and making sure there are no crumbs falling off of you, “I have actual work to do, Ackerman. Quit wasting my time.”

“Door’s right there, sweetheart,” Levi says nonchalantly, looking back down at his planner and not sparing you a second glance.

"See you soon, handsome,” You call, turning back to wave at him and he gifts you with an upturn of his lips.

***

The Survey Corps was a nonprofit organization run by Erwin Smith and the mission of the organization was to find and provide educational resources and mentoring to the youths in the city. Specifically, the mission was to show kids who grew up in the shadows that they could have a life outside of the shadows and in the light with the help of the Survey Corps.

That’s not to say that the Survey Corps had all of the answers and all of the funds to fix the poverty in the walls. But your team tried their hardest to help the kids. Because the kids were the future.

As an organization, you had done some pretty amazing things and had some pretty amazing connections. The Survey Corps had been successful in launching many partnerships and setting up afterschool programs for the kids to find their interests. It was the kind of work that made you feel fulfilled and driven.

Not to mention, that you worked with some of the best people. Despite everyone’s differences, everyone had a clear shared passion for helping the kids of the city.

You truly loved your job, and everyone around you did as well. Ever since Erwin had promoted you to Director of Impact all those years ago and had seen your capabilities, you had really been able to thrive.

Bringing those new kids on board was your idea for the most part- Levi had complained the whole time, asking why they needed a separate youth outreach group when Erwin’s original team wasn’t even _that_ old.

You had kindly told him that you weren’t teenagers anymore and hadn’t been in two decades. He had glared at you but nodded in agreement. 

The rest of your afternoon was relatively free, you were just finishing up a few project ideas for outreach and catching up with some of the new kids.

You should probably stop calling them kids, you think dryly. They’re all in their early twenties, fresh faced and eager. Besides Mikasa- she’s almost as neutral as Levi is and you can’t help but wonder if they’re distantly related. 

You rotate your shoulder again and massage it lightly with a wince. _Damn_ , your right shoulder has been aching over the last week. Maybe you needed a real massage. Or a new chair.

You send all of your emails out quickly with your shoulder beginning to throb in pain as minutes go by. 

Death by the office.

You tell Jean and Connie to meet you in the break-out room for your quick catch-up, unable to take sitting at your desk for much longer. You bring a notebook and a pen with you to the break-out room and wait for them to arrive. 

They sit across from you with their stainless steel water bottles in front of them. They’re chatting animatedly, telling you about their ideas and their plans of all the good they can bring to the kids within the walls. Their shared enthusiasm makes you smile.

You start taking notes on their ideas, already thinking of ways to bring them to life. You groan softly as your hand cramps up from the pain in your right shoulder and neck shooting down your arm.

Jean calls your name and you look up.

“Are you okay?” He asks, “You look like you’re in pain.”

“Obviously she’s in pain!” Connie exclaims indignantly, “Sorry about him. He likes to state the obvious.”

“I’ll be alright. My shoulder is just- acting up today…” You trail off and rotate it, “Anyway, I like your ideas. Keep it up, I love the enthusiasm. And don’t try to out maneuver each other either.”

You look pointedly at Jean who gives you a look of innocence.

"We’re a team,” You murmur.

“Captain still calls us interns,” Connie blurts out and you can’t help but let out a laugh. That they still call Levi their Captain, because he’s so rigid and neutral with them and that he still calls them interns.

“I’ll talk to Captain grump,” You reassure them, “He calls you interns out of _affection.”_

“Affection? From Captain Levi? Pff,” Jean scoffs, crossing his arms.

“You’d be surprised, Jean.”

***

Levi catches your soft whistle of pain as you slide the straps of your backpack over your shoulders. He wordlessly stands behind you and pushes the straps of your arm and carries your backpack for you instead. He gives you his phone and keys to hold on to and you give him a smile in return. 

He walks you to the car in silence, opening the door for you and waiting for you to get in. Levi catches your grimace and soft exhale once more as you shift in the seat.

“You told Hange to go home?” Levi asks, breaking the silence.

“Yeah,” You nod, “She was here all night again. I don’t know how it gets past Erwin, but I told her to come back after she’s rested.”

Levi nods, eyes trained on the road in front of him. One hand on the steering wheel and one on his thigh. After a moment of staring off into the setting sun, you feel Levi’s hand slide into yours and his thumb rub against yours. His gaze hasn’t shifted, but you can see the light in the corner of his eyes. 

He has let his hair and his scruff grow out a little longer than he usually likes- is he distracted? You can’t recall the last time his hair has been this long, but you like it. You make a mental note to ask him about it once you get home.

But as always, Levi can feel your eyes on him.

"Why are you staring?” He asks bluntly.

“Just lookin’ at your ugly mug,” You say nonchalantly, not missing the way his lips quirk up.

“You’ve been with this ugly mug for the last six years,” Levi says dryly, “And what does that say about you?”

“That I have good taste,” You beam at him and he rolls his eyes fondly.

“You’re a brat.”

“You’re an ass.”

You squeeze his hand and watch the planes of his face imperceptibly relax. He wonders how long your shoulder has been bothering you like this. You had mentioned a few times over the last week that it was an odd sort of ache, but today, it seemed like you were in a lot of pain. He’ll ask you about it when you get home.

 _Home._ The space he’s shared with you for the last three and a half years. Levi thinks about that often. He thinks about being a rough, underground kid with nothing but dirt and danger to his name. He wonders if _that_ kid would’ve ever dreamed of living a life like this. He often thinks about Erwin finding him so young and pledging to help him and help kids like him.

Levi often thinks about _you._ You, who had offered him nothing but laughs and coffee when he had nothing to give. You, who offered your shoulder when he didn’t have the strength to ask. You, who found a crack in his armor of steel and buried yourself next to him despite his roughness.

You.

Even now, he still wonders from time to time if you are aware of the extent of his adoration for you. But when you look at him in that soft way of yours, in that way that’s only reserved for him, he thinks you do.

***

Levi hears your pained gasp from the kitchen and then a call of his name. He sees you standing in your underwear, clutching your right shoulder with creased eyebrows.

“Levi,” You murmur, “Will you help me out of this shirt?”

Levi hums and brushes his knuckles over your neck gently. 

“Lift your arms up for a second. This would be easier if this shirt was a button up rather than this shitty material,” He mutters, “This might hurt for a sec.”

He hears your sharp inhale and exhale as he pulls your top off. Levi pulls out one of his own shirts that has now become your sleep shirt and a pair of his shorts for you. He’s quick and precise in his movements, unclasping your bra easily and tugging his shirt over your head. He even helps you into his shorts and you press a kiss to his cheek in gratitude.

Levi rubs your shoulder gingerly, eyes cast over you in concern.

“Go sit on the couch,” Levi murmurs, “I think we still have some of that medicinal paste. The one my mom showed us how to make, it’s supposed to help with pains like this. Your shoulder is tight.”

“That’s not the only thing that’s tight,” You wink at him and he shakes his head, patting your hair.

You’re tempted to follow Levi to the kitchen but refrain when he shoots you a look. Instead, you settle on the couch, stretching your legs out. 

“Took you long enough,” You grumble, scooting up on the couch for him to lay behind you.

"It took me two minutes. Did you lose your sense of time as well?” Levi murmurs, pulling you into his chest. 

You hum, already feeling yourself relax and take his hand in yours. Levi pulls the right side of your shirt down a little to examine your shoulder. He presses a finger to your upper neck and you hiss once his fingers press a little lower. He continues his examination, trying to figure out exactly where you’re in pain.

“Gonna give you a massage,” Levi says, “Might hurt at first. It’ll feel nice after. You can hold my hand if it does.”

“Thanks for your permission, honey,” You roll your eyes but clasp his free hand in yours once more.

His fingers are steady, gentle but firm against your skin. Levi whispers words to you, words of his day, words of what he thinks of the new interns. You correct him for the millionth time, reminding him that they’re not _interns_ anymore. They’re employees now, part of the team. He scoffs but it pulls a laugh from you. 

And then you gasp sharply when Levi’s hand prods at a knot. You squeeze his hand reflexively but after a few soothing touches, the pain washes away and the knot dissolves. Levi continues to rub your muscles and you lean further into his chest, your eyes closed in bliss.

He maneuvers you so as to not disturb you too much and spreads the topical analgesic on your shoulder, leaving your skin exposed. So that the medicine doesn’t spread on your shirt.

“Good?” Levi asks, rubbing your other shoulder. You nod, peering up at him and pecking his lips in gratitude. You try to deepen the kiss, try to rake your fingers through his hair the way he likes, but he turns his cheek.

“You’re gonna waste the medicine. It’ll stick to your shirt rather than your shoulder.”

“Seriously?” You groan.

“Blame your shitty shoulder,” Levi says and you glare at him.

“Take my shirt off then.”

“It’ll stick to your shirt when I take it off. Don’t be stupid.”

“Wow, you really thought this through,” You grumble, settling back into his chest and hoping the medicine absorbs quickly. He gives you a rare smile and kisses your forehead, his hand snaking under your shirt to rub your belly, his fingertips at your ribcage. The way he knows you like.

It had taken a long time for Levi to touch you like this. But you didn’t mind though. You were patient, and he was worth it. He was an immensely private person and while he was _never_ ashamed of you- the thought had never even _struck_ his mind- he preferred to keep his business within the walls of your home. Even at work, Erwin often teased both of you that he could hardly tell that you were in a long term relationship with the way you two bickered with each other and the general lack of PDA. But Hange, bless her, would scold Erwin for being so dense- 

_How can you not tell? They argue like a married couple!_

It had taken a long time for Levi to touch you like this. He can remember when the mere act of looking at you had proven to be too much sometimes. And somehow, you always knew when he needed space. When it got to be _too much_ . It had even taken _you_ a long time to touch him like this. He was unlike anyone you had ever met in every way. You’re certain from the way you fit within the spaces of his arms that this is where you were meant to be.

Something gentle settles in your cheeks, in the way you blink at him, in the way you’re stroking his undercut. He very nearly purrs at the touch but still-

“What are you thinking about?”

“You,” You reply, not missing his _‘tch’_ in response, “Your hair’s getting long…”

You run your fingers through his dark, silky strands and leave a trail of burning embers in your wake. You cup his cheek and he leans into your touch, head tilting into your hand slightly. His grown out stubble prickles your hand and you push yourself closer to him.

“Something on your mind?” You murmur, “You never go this long without a haircut. Or a shave.”

“Testing something out,” Levi says vaguely and you hum.

"Whatever you say, honey,” You reply, pressing a kiss to his neck.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ll hurt yourself if you think too much.”

“Noted. Thanks for looking out for me, Levi,” You say dryly, poking his chest.

“Someone has to,” Levi mutters, “Think you need a new chair at work. You’ve always had a shitty chair. Or maybe you need a standing desk. I’ll build you one.”

You’re barely listening, eyes beginning to flutter closed and you hum in agreement. Levi is just so warm, it’s no surprise that you’re asleep in just a few minutes. Your breaths are steady against his arm as you shift a little to turn on your side. You must be tired. Levi grabs the book he’s currently reading from the coffee table, drapes a blanket over you and rubs your back as you fall into a deeper sleep.

As he reads, he can’t really focus on the words on the page. He’s busy thinking about you, and how easily you grew to trust him and to love him. Despite how long it took for him to even realize that what he felt towards you was trust and love. Levi thinks back to the kid from the Underground. That kid is still him, and he remembers the faint desire to have a semblance of this life. To feel the sun against his face, the wind in his hair. To be unabashedly himself. 

And somehow, not even the freeing feeling of the sun on his face and the wind in his hair can compare to your velvet touch on his skin. 


	2. a girl in a bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the new hires are determined to prove that you and levi are indeed a couple.

“Okay, so everything was submitted yesterday,” You say, reading down your list of updates, “We’re just pending approval on those three grants, those four project plans, and those two proposals. Everything’s taken care of.”

“Yeah, Erwin, don’t you know? You’ve got a team of rockstars, I mean, what would you do without us,” Hange says, “This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time!”

“Your definition of  _ fun _ needs to be revisited,” Levi mutters under his breath but he still earns a glare from Hange.

“As if you would know  _ fun _ if it bit you in the ass, shorty-”

“And you would?”

Erwin sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Alright, it sounds like we’re ahead of schedule. Thank you for all of your hard work this month, and be sure to relay that message to your teams as well.”

“Hey Erwin,” You say, sickly sweet. It’s the same tone you use when you speak to your rich donors. And Levi already knows what you’re about to ask before you ask it.

“We’ve been working so hard the last month,” You say with a smile, “Let’s have a happy hour this week? Or a night out? We’ve all been working overtime, including you. You deserve a relaxing night…”

Levi rolls his eyes. Of course Erwin would say yes- when has he ever said  _ no _ to a night of drinking disguised as team bonding?

“Yeah, okay. Are the rest of you okay with it?” Erwin asks, looking at Hange and Levi.

“As long as you’re footing the bill,” Hange winks at Erwin.

“A night at a crowded bar with the interns? Can’t think of anything better,” Levi deadpans and you glare at him.

“They deserve the night, too! They sure have been workin’ more than your sorry ass. Haven’t seen you stay late even once in the last week!”

“Haven’t seen me stay late- we literally leave  _ together _ . In the same car. Are you feeling okay today? Something crawl into your head and die there?”

“Shut up, Levi,” You grumble, but don’t bother to conceal your laugh.

“Levi, why don’t you go and tell the  _ new hires _ that we’re having a get together on Friday? Does the Stallion work?” Erwin says with a teasing grin and you swear smoke is coming out of Levi’s ears.

But he agrees anyway, because that’s what he does.

***

“Why does he want  _ me  _ to tell them?” Levi grumbles, “They like you better anyway, as they should.”

“They like you just fine, Levi,” You say, touching his arm gently before letting your hand fall to your side, “C’mon, I’ll come with you. I’m sure they’ll be excited to unwind.”

Levi looks on ahead as you both continue down the hallway but he returns your touch with a small graze of his fingers against your elbow. You walk in silence with your notebook in one arm as you head to the common area, where most of the new hires are.

“Oi,” Levi calls and heads turn towards him as abrupt silence falls amongst them, “The Stallion on Friday. Be there, or don’t.”

“Well when you put it that way, they’ll definitely want to come,” You mutter, “What Levi  _ means _ to say is that Erwin is organizing a night out at the Stallion to celebrate the end of a very long month. We know how hard all of you have been working and want to show you our appreciation. You can let either Levi or I know if you’d like to come.”

All of them start tittering amongst themselves, the air in the room changing. They’re clearly excited for a night out to relax and you can see smiles of excitement on their faces already. You wonder what they were discussing so intensely before Levi had announced your arrival.

“And everything’s on us, so don’t worry about that,” You add as an afterthought. Levi sends them a look to let them know not to take advantage of that. A collective gasp echoes through the room.

“Wow-”

“Really?”

“I can’t believe it!”

“We hope to see you all on Friday,” You give them a warm smile before letting them return to their devices and walking away from them with Levi.

“Look at how much they appreciate being appreciated,” You murmur, “I know most of our work is done for the Underground kids, but I think we do good work here, too.”

Levi hums, taking your hand in his and rubbing your thumb before letting go.

“I knew you noticed it, too,” You smile at him.

“I did no such thing,” Levi says.

You shake your head fondly before you stop at your office to finish off the remainder of your afternoon. 

“Busy rest of the day today?” Levi asks, eyeing your shoulder and the newly installed standing desk. Subconsciously touching your shoulder, you shake your head.

“No, just meeting with Eren, Mikasa and Armin later today. They wanted to discuss some of the youth sports programs and how we can increase engagement,” You reply, “Shoulder’s okay, Levi. I promise.”

He narrows his eyes at you for a moment and nods, heading back to his own office to finish up some paperwork. Maybe he can finish quickly and take you home early today. Levi is lost in his own thoughts, but not so lost that he misses the two pairs of eyes watching him leave your office.

***

“I’m telling you, they’re  _ definitely _ together. Something is up there,” Jean insists in a harsh whisper, “I mean have you  _ heard _ the way she talks about him?”

"She talks about  _ everyone _ like that, idiot,” Eren hisses, glaring at him, “She doesn’t even talk about Captain that much to begin with!”

“I saw him leave her office just now!” Armin blurts out with a gasp and everyone goes quiet.

“So? They’re our superiors, it’s not  _ weird _ for them to be meeting with each other,” Eren replies.

"Have you ever heard anyone other than her call the Captain  _ affectionate _ ?” 

“Well, no, but… Maybe she was just saying that!” Sasha protests.

“Nobody would  _ just say that _ ,” Jean scoffs, “Do you hear Hange say that? Or Erwin?”

Eren doesn’t have an answer for that.

“Maybe they’re keeping it under wraps because Erwin forbids office relationships,” Armin says in a hushed whisper and Jean nods in agreement.

“Maybe they’re trying to keep it a secret. We should stay out of it,” Mikasa chimes in.

“If they’re trying to keep it a secret, they’re doing a pretty shitty job about it,” Jean mutters.

“And I’m sure they’re more careful around Erwin and Hange if they’re even  _ together _ ,” Eren considers, “There’s only one way to find out. On Friday, we have to keep our eyes peeled.”

Everyone nods in agreement, while Mikasa rolls her eyes.

“Let’s start a betting pool,” Connie suggests and murmurs of consensus float amongst them.

“Let me get this straight,” Mikasa begins, “You all want to start a betting pool between our superiors to see if they’re dating or not.”

“Exactly,” Connie says with a wolfish grin, “Where’s your sense of fun, Ackerman?”

“You and I have different definitions of  _ fun _ ,” Mikasa mutters, “But I’m in.”

“Mikasa, Eren and I have a meeting with her later today,” Armin says thoughtfully, “Let’s see what we can gather. But I think Friday will be the day we’ll be able to investigate.”

***

Armin sees no sign of Levi in your office. He only sees a few photo frames with you and the rest of the senior members of the team. There’s two photo frames he’s unable to catch a glimpse of as it’s at the corner of the desk where only you can easily see it. There is a single crystal sunflower near your computer, safely kept in a box but that can’t mean anything. It’s been there since  _ forever _ \- you must have purchased it on your own when you started working here, Armin deduces confidently.

Unless it was a gift from a long time ago. Unless you and Levi have been dating for years, which is why this sunflower has been sitting on your desk perfect and poised all this time. That can’t be possible- there’s no  _ sign _ of it. Even when they were interns, which was only a few years ago, there was no sign of it.

Was there even any sign of it now? 

“I like this,” You say, pulling Armin out of his thoughts, “I think it’s a good point to make, that we have to advertise to these kids in a way that’ll intrigue them. Which is why we brought you in. I guess the next step would be scoping out methods of advertising that would work… You three up to the task?”

Eren and Armin nod their heads in determination but Mikasa doesn’t look convinced.

“Isn’t Captain from the Underground? Wouldn’t he be better suited for something like this?” Mikasa asks.

“How do you know that?” You raise an eyebrow, an edge of protectiveness showing itself.

“Everyone knows that,” Mikasa says easily.

You suppose that’s true.

“Hmmm,” You muse, rubbing your chin, “How do you feel about working with Levi on this? You’re right, Mikasa. That he’d be better suited for something like this rather than me.”

“She meant no offense by it-” Armin protests.

“None taken,” You give her a small smile, “Takes balls to challenge your superiors. I can appreciate that.

“Why don’t you three and whoever else you see fit come up with a proposal and send it my way in the next week or so? I’ll review it and you can present it to Levi,” You suggest and Armin’s eyes are as wide as saucers.

“Present to  _ Captain _ ?” Eren sputters.

“You can do it. If you can present it to me, then you can present it to him,” You say with a smile, “I have full confidence in you.”

Mikasa adjusts her scarf, pulling it further up her face but you don’t miss the flash of excitement in her eyes. It seems like she likes a challenge.

***

By the time Friday rolls around, Erwin had encouraged you all to go home early and get the weekend started early. Levi protests, telling him that there’s still a mountain of paperwork to do. Which isn’t entirely untrue, but it can wait until the following Monday.

“Don’t complain about being able to go home early, stupid,” You mutter, elbowing his side.

He just rolls his eyes in response.

“I’ll see you all there at 9:30,” Erwin says, giving you all a look. The thinly veiled threat is there- don’t be late  _ or else. _

You and Levi are usually some of the last to leave the office. You both have a habit of cleaning up your offices as the day ends, before you leave. You clean up your papers, put away your pens and store your laptop in your backpack as you give your desk a once over. You’re gentle with your shoulder, not wanting to irritate it further as it had only just started calming down. 

You’re about to reach for something under your desk when Levi walks into your office and stops you.

“You’re trying to injure yourself aren’t you,” Levi mutters, shooing you away and crouching, “Stupid.”

“Thanks for your concern,” You mumble, “Ass.”

Levi turns from under your desk, still crouched and looking up at you through narrowed eyes. A smirk curls on your lips and he rolls his eyes at your antics.

“I could get used to the way you look right now,” You say with a wink.

“You already are used to it,” Levi drones on, “You forget about this morning?”

“No,” You murmur and trail a finger over his chest when he stands up straight, “Been thinking about this morning all day.”

Levi catches your finger with his larger hand and your breath hitches as you peer at him curiously. 

“C’mon,” He tugs your hand along, “Let’s go home then.”

***

Your shoulder finally feels healed enough that you can drive without experiencing discomfort. Your hand immediately settles over Levi’s thigh when you put the car in drive, randomly squeezing.

All the signs are there. You’re in a mood today. He thinks maybe you miss him more than you’re letting on, despite living together and working together. The two of you haven’t had a chance for alone time or a date in quite some time, and he knows you’re looking forward to tonight for that very reason. 

While it’s not exactly a  _ date _ , it’s still a chance to be out and enjoy each other.

“Those kids are up to something,” You break the silence softly.

“They’re always up to something,” Levi says, peering out of the window. It’s an overcast and slightly chilly day, the sun nowhere to be found. You hum in agreement, moving your hand to find his. He watches your entire body relax once you slot your hand in his.

“I saw them watching us,” Levi continues, “Watching me leave your office, specifically.”

You laugh at that, “Maybe they’re trying to figure out which one of their bosses is sleeping together.”

“You and Hange, right? Knew it,” Levi says, pulling another laugh from you.

“Nailed it.”

***

One of Levi’s favorite rituals with you was the art of undressing each other after a long day. As soon as you both wash your hands and remove traces of the day from your faces after coming home, your hands are flat over his chest, fingers playing with the buttons of his shirt.

With each button that comes undone, you press a kiss to his newly exposed skin. He only watches your fingers move slowly, as if they’re moving through honey as you touch him. 

He stops you once you push his button up and undershirt off of him and toss it into his hamper. Levi’s hands are on your cheeks, sliding down the side of your neck, and he finally,  _ finally  _ presses kisses to your aching lips. 

Levi pulls away for a breath, thumbing at your cheek and you lean into his touch with hooded eyes. He runs a hand under your top, drumming along your sides before pulling your top off. 

“I missed you,” You day feebly, your heart in your throat. How can you miss someone in this way- someone who you’ve given your heart, mind and soul to? How can you miss someone when he’s standing right in front of you, when you wake up beside him, when you go to sleep beside him?

You don’t know. You just  _ miss _ him.

“I know,” Levi murmurs, “I know.”

He lifts you up in his arms, dropping kisses to your neck and walking you to the bed. Letting you down gently, he slots himself in between your legs and his touch tells you everything he doesn’t say.

Levi melts into you as your legs wrap around his waist, his breaths soft against your skin. Your touches are urgent, fleeting on his arms, seemingly trying to claw yourself to him.

He’s been neglecting your needs. He had needed some space over the last week- sometimes things became heavy for him. Especially around this time of year. The death anniversary of his mother had been several weeks ago, but you had understood his need for space. As you always did. Space for him meant keeping to himself and staying at home, and you’d always be by his side. Even if he didn’t ask.

“Thank you for coming back to me,” You murmur, as you always do around this time of the year. You press a gentle kiss to his chin. You knew he was starting to come out of it when he had woken you up in your favorite way this morning.

“I know it seems like I’m far away,” He replies, nosing at your neck, “I’ve been neglecting you.”

But you’re already shaking your head in disbelief.

“No,” You say firmly, cupping his cheek, “No. You know you never have to justify why you need what you need. If you need space, you need space. Don’t do that.”

No matter how many times you say it, he still needs to hear it. His slate grey eyes are wide and he ducks his head quickly, arms around your head as he swallows your words, your understanding with another kiss.

Words melt into soft breaths, sighs and quiet laughs within the four walls of your bedroom after that. 

***

You had coaxed Levi into an afternoon nap with you and he had fallen asleep with his contacts still in his eyes. No wonder his eyes were burning now. Stupid contacts.

Levi tries to get up from bed without disturbing you and it seems like he is mostly successful. You turn in your sleep, curling into his pillow before settling back in.

He goes to the bathroom and stares at himself in the mirror before prying his dried out contacts from his eyes and grabbing his glasses from the first drawer of the nightstand next to the bed.

Much better.

He sees you waking up now, watching him with lazy eyes and a hazy smile. You carelessly throw your arm across the bed, indicating that you want him to come back and lay with you. 

“Move over,” Levi murmurs and settles next to you, pulling the covers up over you both once more. 

“Wow,” You say with a gasp, voice thick with sleep, “Wear glasses more often, huh?”

“Shut up,” Levi mutters, avoiding your gaze. 

You just smile and draw patterns on his arm, pulling him in for another slow, languid kiss.

“I mean it,” You say, “I mean, if I was just a girl in a bar, I wouldn’t stand a  _ chance. _ ”

That pulls a small smile from him and it makes your heart burst.

“You have it the other way around,” He says, grey eyes filled with an emotion you’re all too familiar with. You run your fingers through his long strands of inky hair as they fall to his face when he leans in closer to you. A lazy silence falls between you, only lending way to more firm yet gentle touches.

***

Levi had done your hair for you, after you had claimed that your shoulder was hurting again. He had rolled his eyes, knowing that you just wanted him to play with your hair.

“I don’t blame you, I do your hair better anyway,” He had scoffed. And he was  _ sometimes _ right- Levi was well versed in taking care of your hair. Which surprised you.

He had kissed you a few times before you both had headed out for the night, unable to resist your glossy lips-  _ “Levi. We’re gonna be late and Erwin will-” _

_ “Stop talking about fuckin’ Erwin and let me kiss you.” _

_ “I’m not talking about fuckin’ Erwin, but I mean should we? Is that something we need to talk about-” _

_ “You’re insufferable,” And he shuts you up with a searing kiss as your back is pressed against the front door. _

And now you’re at the bar with Hange, ordering a round of drinks for the four of you. The newbies wouldn’t be arriving till about thirty minutes later. Erwin had told the four of you to meet a little earlier to have your own intimate toast. 

You bring two drinks in your hand and slide into the booth across from Levi and next to Hange. Sliding a drink over to Levi, you take a sip of your own and you feel his foot nudge yours in thanks.

“Cheers to us,” You begin, “For being awesome, especially me.”

“Oi, Levi, get your woman,” Hange says, earning herself a hearty glare from Levi.

Erwin rolls his eyes fondly with a quirk of his lips, “Yes, we’ve done some great things individually and as a group over the last few months. And years. Think of where we’ve started. How far we’ve come and how far we have to go.”

“I’ll drink to that, boss,” Hange says, raising her glass.

“Hange, you’ll drink to anything,” Levi says but raises his glass as well.

“Cheers, Erwin. To many more successes and many more years together,” You murmur, eyes flashing to Levi for a split second. You meet his eyes over your glass. He’s always been able to read you easily, and the openness of your heart still startles him even now.

He hopes he can get a few minutes alone with you at the bar. Or in a booth. Levi wants to show you that in a bar full of strangers, he’ll  _ always _ pick you. Without hesitation.

***

It’s only about an hour into the  _ interns _ arriving, and you and Hange already have the second round of drinks ready for them. Your smile is loose and wide, laugh loud and uninhibited as you hold your second drink in your hands. Or is it your third?

You’re chatting with Jean and Connie, head thrown back in laughter at something Jean said. You seem to have a soft spot for those two, as Levi recalls. You tug on your necklace, as if you can feel Levi glance over you. It’s a necklace that he had given you for one of your anniversaries and it’s one of your favorites.

Those kids are up to something, Levi can sense it in their careful but curious gazes. He pays them no mind, instead turning his head to speak to Mikasa and Hange. Levi catches Mikasa looking around, her line of vision always falling to Eren.

Levi very nearly asks Mikasa if she’s  _ bored _ but refrains from doing so, hearing your chastising voice in his head. Telling him not to embarrass her.

So he stays quiet and instead entertains Hange’s thought that him and Mikasa may be related.

***

“Hi,” You murmur, sliding into the booth with Levi right behind you. The booth is slightly hidden from the rest of the bar patrons. Not that either of you were trying to hide. You were just looking for some quiet. You wrap your arm around his, your chin over his shoulder as you lean against him.

“Hi,” Levi repeats, “Found time for me, huh?”

“Don’t be like that,” You whisper, nudging him gently. He can smell the alcohol coming off of your breath.

“Be like what?”

“Mean,” You mumble, “Be mean to me.”

“Oh, alright. I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Levi says and your eyes glow bright at the pet name, a smile pulling across your lips. 

“Are you having fun?” You ask softly, tugging his hand into yours, “Will you have my drink? I can’t finish it.”

Levi nearly scoffs, a memory of the first time you had asked him to finish a drink for you bubbling to the surface. He had looked at you like you had four heads- don’t you know how  _ disgusting  _ and  _ unclean _ that was? It took him a while to learn that you ask him things like that out of comfort with him.

“It’s a whiskey based drink. I think you’ll like it,” You continue, fingers tracing the slopes and planes of his face.

So this was how you were feeling tonight. Touchy. Maybe a little needy. You pull your hand away offering him your drink.

Levi takes the drink from your hands and sets it on the table. You’re about to say something but he cups your face with both hands, pressing his forehead to yours. You hold his wrist with your hand, eyes wide and soft.

He kisses you deeply, without a word or a shared breath between you. You gasp in surprise but he deepens the kiss, as if he’s trying to melt into you.

“I fuckin’ love you,” Levi murmurs, “You know that? I fuckin’ love you.”

“ _ Levi _ ,” You breathe, “I know and I love you. I told you I wouldn’t stand a chance. I’m just a girl in a bar.”

The pads of your thumbs press against the back of his neck, rubbing slow circles. He likes the look on your face, dark eyes filled with ease and trust.

Both of you pretend to not see a stoic but interested gaze looking in your direction.

Mikasa had seen you and Levi duck out from the crowd with a drink in your hand to a quieter booth. She watches you pull him next to you and lean into him, but Mikasa turns her head away when she sees Levi duck his head to kiss you. She doesn’t want to intrude on a clearly intimate moment, but she can’t help but agree with Jean.

If you both were trying to keep your relationship a secret from Erwin, you were doing a pretty shitty job of it. Mikasa wrestles with telling everyone about her findings, but ultimately decides against it. For now. She’d wait to see if anyone else picked up on anything going on between you and Levi.

“Those kids have a bet going on with us,” You inform Levi, once you see Mikasa watching you briefly from across the bar.

“Do they?” Levi hums, pressing a kiss to your neck as you rub his chest.

“Yeah,” You say breathily, “Half of them think we’re dating in secret, and the other half think that we’re not dating at all.”

Levi pulls away with a raised eyebrow, “They don’t have anything better to do?”

“They’re curious about their incredibly good looking superiors,” You say with a smile, “Can you blame them?”

“So let’s give them something to be curious about,” Levi murmurs and dips his head again for another searing kiss. You briefly think about how comfortable he’s become with you and with kissing you in public like this. It doesn’t happen often, but you’re not one to complain when it does. You pull away first, thumb running over his bitten, gloss stained bottom lip.

“We should head back,” You murmur, “Before Erwin thinks we left him alone with the kids.”

Levi nods, taking the now empty glass and holding out his hand for you. His hand is light on your waist as you both walk back to your group, and his eyes are as scorching as ever when he sees Jean and Connie looking at you both with wide eyes.

You and Levi part ways- you going to talk to Sasha, Jean and Connie and Levi sitting with Erwin, Eren and Armin.

Eren and Armin already looked tense, sitting with Erwin, and it increases tenfold when Levi sits with them too.

Levi sees you dancing with Sasha to the beat of the music while Jean and Connie look awkwardly around. And then you take their hands and try to get them to dance with you, and Levi shakes his head at your antics.

Poor kids. They look flustered.

“What’s the matter with you two? You look like you’re constipated,” Levi comments to Armin and Eren and they both stammer in response, trying to hold a conversation with their boss and their boss’s boss.

They both relax when they pull a smile from Erwin.

***

You and Levi are the last ones at the bar, as Hange had only just left and Erwin had entrusted the both of you to make sure that the new hires got home safely. Before Levi could protest, you had agreed and heard him curse under his breath. All Levi can think about is  _ you _ , in those tight jeans, your glossy lips, your heels and his button-up.

He’s had a few drinks by now, and it’s not his fault you’re so pretty.

Levi just wants to take you home and show you how pretty he thinks you are, but instead you had agreed to babysit the  _ interns. _ Of course, he’s going to grumble about it.

“They’re all grown adults. They can fend for themselves,” Levi complains, without any real heat behind it.

“Oh, now they’re adults? They’re not kids anymore?” You tease, nudging his shoulder.

“Shut up,” He replies, nudging you back.

You and Levi manage to coordinate cabs for them- you call Sasha, Connie, Jean a cab since they live in the same apartment building and Levi calls Armin and Eren a cab, since they’re roommates. Mikasa lives closer to you and Levi, so you decide to take a cab to her apartment building and then take a cab from there back home.

“Text us when you get home,” You say sweetly, waving at both sets of cabs and they all chirp promises of agreement.

The cab that Levi had ordered for the three of you is on its way and you stand under the light of the streetlamp, making smalltalk with Mikasa. You learn that she enjoys the outdoors and hiking quite a bit, and you suggest a few places she might like. 

“There’s also Claw Mountain, in Wall Maria,” Levi muses, “We went there once, remember?” 

“Yeah! You can see Wall Rose  _ and _ Wall Sina from there,” You reply. 

Mikasa quirks an eyebrow at you both but says nothing. She nestles herself against her red scarf when a breeze of wind threads itself in the spaces between the three of you and you shudder lightly. Mikasa contains her gasp when Levi wordlessly pulls his jacket off and wraps it around your shoulders. You smile at him in gratitude and to Mikasa’s surprise, he  _ returns _ your smile.

Mikasa can’t think of a time where she’s ever seen him smile like that.

Once the cab arrives, you sit in the middle of Levi and Mikasa. You can’t resist leaning into him as his arm wraps around your shoulders. Mikasa’s eyes are nearly bulging out of her head at the small but meaningful action. There’s no way you two aren’t together, and there’s no way that either of you are actively trying to keep it a secret.

You’re looking at Mikasa knowingly, with a quiet smirk and she thinks you already know about the  _ bet. _ You say nothing, instead yawning and asking Mikasa if she has any plans for the weekend. As you hold a quiet conversation with her, you’re rubbing absent-minded circles against Levi’s inner thigh. Your hand is covered by his jacket and Levi thinks he’s about to lose his mind. Is this cab even moving? Could it be moving any  _ slower? _

Levi lets out a breath of relief when they arrive at Mikasa’s apartment building. She bids you goodbye and waves. You stay in the cab until she gets up to her apartment, waiting for a text from her. Once you receive the text from Mikasa, you tell the cab driver that you’re good to go. You tilt your head onto Levi’s shoulder with a soft sigh.

His face is as expressionless as ever, but he’s just so  _ impatient _ . 

Levi nearly pulls you out of the car in one smooth action, leading you home with a hand at the small of your back after he nearly throws his credit card at the cab driver.

He hears your laugh from next to him and shoots you a glare with no heat behind it. Obvious impatience is not something you see often on him- it’s only fitting that it’s due to  _ you.  _

Your movements are slowing down, clearly an indication of your feet beginning to hurt. Levi immediately picks up on it, wordlessly scooping you into his arms to walk into your building. You remember the first time he had carried you home when your feet were beginning to hurt. You were about to slip out of your heels and walk barefoot when he had looked at you with disgust. He had told you that he’d carry you home for his own sanity. After all, he wouldn’t be able to sleep well knowing that you had willingly dirtied your feet.

Your arms loop around his neck, fingers lightly scratching at his undercut.

You’re smiling at him softly and he breathes out a grumpy “What you lookin’ at?”

“Nothin, just my stupid boyfriend,” You reply with a gasp when he threatens to drop you.

“Boyfriend? That’s all I am to you?” 

“How about soulmate? Or other half?” 

“I think you mean better half,” Levi mutters, somehow swiping into the building and walking to the elevators easily. He earns himself a particularly hard scratch to the back of his head and a playful glare from you.

Levi holds you easily, without breaking a sweat. You trace over the collar of his shirt, dipping your fingers under to press against his necklace. Pulling your hand away, you push his glasses up his nose before they slide down. He’s incredibly handsome with or without glasses, but you can’t seem to tear your eyes away from him.

“You’ve got a staring problem,” Levi tells you and you scoff.

“Sorry for admiring my incredibly handsome  _ better half _ ,” You roll your eyes.

“ _ Tch _ .”

It’s when you’ve both finished your skincare routines, you’re both in sleep clothes next to each other in bed and your legs are barely touching. It’s when he sees a smokey sort of fatigue curling up in your brown eyes. It’s when a sliver of moonlight reflects off of your brown skin that he pulls you into his side and tells you that  _ you’re _ the best part of him. That you’re  _ his _ better half.

Levi doesn’t say it so much as he  _ shows _ it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. from dusk till dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which you and levi attend a gala to honor some rich donors, and kenny ackerman makes an appearance. (smut in this chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this!! there is smut, mentions of harassment (in a flashback) and i hope you enjoy this chapter. tbh i struggled with kenny's characterization- i hope you still like it!

“Why do  _ I  _ have to go?” You groan, rubbing your face, “Isn’t it Hange’s turn to go? Or Levi’s? Anyone but me? Can’t we all go together?”

“I don’t think all of us need to go for this one,” Erwin offers, “And it would be a good learning opportunity for the new hires. You can pick one or two of them to accompany you.”

“Lucky me,” You mutter, glancing at Levi. He’s looking at you with a small upturned smirk, clearly gloating at Erwin’s specific insistence that  _ you _ go.

“These are all the rich people that you have the most experience with,” Erwin explains and you groan again, “They’re your favorite people, remember?”

You glare daggers at him when he grins at you.

“So now I have to babysit the rich guys  _ and _ the new kids?” You say without any real heat in your voice.

“Careful. You’re starting to sound like Levi,” Erwin says, grin still plastered on his stupidly handsome face.

“God forbid,” You throw your hands up in the air, “We’re showing up in a limo and everything will be on the company card.”

“I expect nothing less,” Erwin confirms.

“Good, you know me so well.”

***

The door to Levi’s office is closed and locked, because you’re trying to convince him to come to the ball with you. Your eyes are dark and coy, lips only a breath away from his, and Levi could scoff. But he’s enjoying your groveling.

“You can hold your own with them,” Levi says, poking your forehead, “You know you can.”

“Of course I can,” You sigh, “Is it so much to ask for you to come with me just because I want you to?”

Your hands are flat on his chest and Levi tugs your wrists into his, rubbing circles. You already see the agreement on his face, in the turn of his lips.

“Not at all,” Levi promises, “I’ll tell Erwin I’ll be coming as your plus one.”

As if he could ever say no to you. As if he could ever say no to a night of being on your arm, both of you dressed to the nines. Even if that meant listening to rich men and women speak to you both in a way that annoys him to no end, in a way that makes your blood burn.

You both usually manage to make nights like this fun. He’s sure you have something up your sleeve. A memory of the first time Erwin had assigned you both to one of these donor’s galas resurfaces, maybe from ten years ago at this point-

_ Levi had barely paid you any mind, and you were quite annoyed with it all. You didn’t know why Erwin thought this was a good idea, pairing you up with him to tag team this gala.  _

_ You would probably have more success on your own anyway. Since you would be focused and your thoughts wouldn’t be filled with ire for the man who was accompanying you. _

_ But just because he doesn’t pay you any mind doesn’t mean that he wasn’t a gentleman. He held doors for you and had even gotten you both a drink as soon as you had entered the ballroom. _

_ There’s no way he could’ve known that you needed something to hold in settings like this to stave off your anxiety. _

_ You had offered him a smile and a ‘thanks’, to which he had waved off. You had wanted to tell him that he looked nice, but refrained from doing so when he seemed to not even want to look at you. _

_ What an ass. That’s okay, you’ll pretend like it doesn’t irk you. That one of your coworkers who you’ve worked with for as long as you’ve been part of the Survey Corps seems to not even want to breathe in the same general vicinity as you. _

_ You had only just gotten his phone number, and you’ve worked with him for almost five years now. _

_ With a scoff, you tell him that you’ll go and mingle with the crowd. You advise him to do the same and he has the gall to roll his eyes at you. _

_ Fine. Two can play at that game. _

_ He dislikes these events, but he knows how much it benefits the organization to get into the pockets of these rich types. Knowing that their money was benefiting something good for the Underground soothed their egos, after all. He gets frustrated when he sees these people talk about themselves like they're something to be worshipped for a simple donation. Maybe simple is the wrong word. But to Levi, spending the time with the kids meant just as much. _

_ Considering that he was one of them.  _

_ But as Erwin often says- they need both to function. They need the resources and they need interest. _

_ Levi hates this. Making small talk with people. Specifically, making small talk with people who don’t give a shit about him. Or you. Or anything outside of the walls of their unattainable realities. He decides to keep to himself and watch you plaster a sweet, unassuming smile that nearly makes his skin crawl. Because with that smile, you could convince anyone to do anything.  _

_ Him included. Probably. _

_ You place calculating touches over the shoulders or forearm of whoever you’re talking to, bursting out in laughter at the perfect time, and Levi wonders when and how you got so good at this. When and how you got so good at schmoozing.  _

_ No wonder Erwin prefers that you come to these galas. You’ve got these fuckin’ losers eating out of the palm of your hand so effortlessly. It’s like clockwork- your dark eyes are wide and shining, smile easy and sweet, hands open and friendly. _

_ These people will have nothing but good things to say about you at the end of the night. You had clearly done your homework- you knew who the big families in attendance were and you had their profiles nearly memorized as talking points. _

_ That begs the question- why the fuck was Levi even there then? _

_ You manage to excuse yourself, promising the people around you that you’d be back soon enough. Levi watches your smile fall as you roll your shoulders back. You’re exhausted, things like this clearly took its toll on you. _

_ Levi has a glass of water ready for you.  _

_ “Thanks,” You mutter, unable to pull your muscles together for a smile. _

_ “Think you need more than just a water to deal with these fuckers.” _

_ “Tell me about it,” You sigh and then realize it’s the first full sentence he’s said to you all night, “Gonna go to the bar. You want somethin’?”  _

_ He shakes his head and you shrug, heading to the other side of the room. Levi watches you walk away and picks up on the tension building in your shoulders.  _

_ Your cheeks are beginning to hurt from all of the forced smiles, forced laughter, and forced conversations. You want to go home, but you have a duty to fulfill. After you order a drink, you find yourself in conversation with two women, asking you about what it was like to work in the Underground.  _

_ It’s one of the few genuine questions you’ve received, and yet you’re almost too drained to answer. One of the women leans in closer to you, nose only millimeters away from yours. _

_ “You’re somethin’ else aren’t you? Survey Corps finest and all,” She muses, “Erwin only sends his best to these things.” _

_ “Uh,” You reply, your head suddenly filled with air. You back away a step, but she’s somehow closer to you than before. Her fingers dance over your bare arm and you reflexively yank your arm closer to you but she pays no mind to your reluctance. _

_ “His prettiest, too,” She says and you wish you would melt into the floor. Away from her. Away from this. _

_ “Can’t you tell when you’re making someone uncomfortable?” A voice comes from your right and you can barely hear it over the slamming of your heart against your ribcage. It’s Levi and you breathe a sigh of relief. _

_ “Or do you have a stick so far up your ass that you can’t tell what’s right in front of you?” Levi continues easily, ignoring your wide eyes and the woman’s flabbergasted look. _

_ Levi stands next to you, nearly shielding you with his body. _

_ “Do you even know who I am?” She says rudely, arms crossed across her chest. As if she hadn’t just touched you with those same fingers. _

_ “No,” Levi says in his bored tone, “Don’t really care.” _

_ “Levi, let’s go. It’s fine,” You whisper, trying to plead with him. _

_ “You won’t get my money then-” _

_ “We don’t fuckin’ want your shitty money,” Levi says coldly, already turning his back on them and you follow him. He’s walking fast and you have to call out to him to wait up for you at the coat check. Your head is spinning, a sure sign of a headache that will be coming. _

_ “Which coat is yours?” Levi asks once you catch up. _

_ “That one,” You point to the black peacoat that you want nothing more than to bury yourself in. You stay silent as you walk to the entrance, mindlessly scrolling on your phone and texting Erwin that you’ll be heading home. _

_ “Tell me that was the first time,” Levi says, breaking the silence. _

_ “Huh?” Comes your eloquent answer. _

_ He raises an eyebrow expectantly. _

_ “Oh. Uh… It happens sometimes,” You shrug, “Doesn’t really get too far. These rich types just like what they can’t have.” _

_ Another beat of silence. _

_ “I’m gonna kill Erwin,” He mutters. _

_ “Why? He didn’t do anything.” _

_ “It’s not worth it. Do you think it’s worth it?” Levi asks, more emotion in his voice than you’ve possibly ever heard before. _

_ “Levi,” You murmur, “It’s fine. Just drop it.” _

_ He looks like he wants to protest but he abides by your request. Levi can’t get your hesitance, your fearful eyes, your flinch out of his head. It reminds him too much of his mother, and he can’t get it out of his head. _

_ Levi takes a cab home with you, telling the cab driver to stop at your apartment first then his. The ride is mostly silent, save for the cab driver’s small talk. Your hands are twisting in your lap as you look out of the window. _

_ “Hey,” You murmur, “I’m glad we’re coworkers. Friends, even.” _

_ “Tch,” Levi replies easily, “Don’t get any ideas.” _

_ But you smile at him and Levi doesn’t look away. He has to make sure that the look that reminds him of his mother is gone. _

***

Tonight’s gala is at the castle in Wall Sina. Coming here still puts a bad taste in your mouth, but it’s not so hard to manage as it was before. The decorations are more tasteful than they usually are, bronze and blue streamers and banners hanging throughout the large ballroom. 

“How are we supposed to blend in here?” You hear Jean mutter under his breath.

“By getting that stick out of your ass and mingling,” Levi replies easily, shooting a sideways glance.

“It’s not so bad,” You muse, “It’s not so bad  _ now _ . Just be yourself, Jean. These people love talking about themselves. Just charm them. From what I hear, you’re pretty good at that.”

Levi rolls his eyes at Jean’s surprised expression.

“C’mon, Jean. We can go talk to that noble family over there,” You suggest, looking expectantly at him.

“What about Ca-, I mean Levi?” Jean asks.

“Levi has his own list of people Erwin wants him to talk to,” You wink at him and Levi rolls his eyes.

“Meet you back here in an hour or so.”

***

A voice that you haven’t heard in years breaks your reverie, your heart sputtering as you turn around to face him. You try to face him as neutrally as you can, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he bothers you.

_ “Kenny, _ ” You breathe, surprise morphing into irritation, “Why are you here?”

“What, I can’t check in on my favorite nephew and niece to be?” He smirks in that way that you know gets under Levi’s skin.

“He’s not- we’re not-” You sigh, cutting yourself off, “You shouldn’t be here. He doesn’t want to see you.”

“He’s playing hard to get, huh?” Kenny says, lips twitching and eyes trained on you. You feel exposed, as if he’s burning you from the inside out but you refuse to give him the satisfaction. His cool, grey eyes are unforgiving but you hold his gaze. He seems satisfied with his assessment of you and you pretend like your skin isn’t crawling.

You’ve never liked Kenny. Even if he wasn’t such a  _ dick _ to Levi, you’re certain you wouldn’t like him.

“I said he doesn’t want to see you,” You repeat firmly. The longer he stands in front of you, the more disgusted you become.

“Aww, he doesn’t want to see his ol’ man?” Kenny pouts, “I’m sure I’ll run into him at some point. Give him my best will you?”

“Wait,” You call out, curiosity getting the best of you, “Why are you here? I haven’t seen you in, what, four years?”

“You miss me, sweetheart?” He grins wolfishly and you visibly recoil, “This whole thing. I’m one of the people they’re honoring.”

“Oh, really? This is for donors, for good, upstanding people of Wall Rose and Wall Sina who give money and resources to help us-”

“I’m  _ hurt _ that you don’t see me as one of those  _ good, upstanding  _ people.”

“Kenny,” You scoff, “ _ Good and upstanding _ isn’t in your fuckin’ vocabulary.”

“Ouch,” Kenny says, “You kiss Levi with that mouth?”

You swear you’re about to lunge at him, hands ready to throttle his neck and wipe the stupid grin off of his face. But then you feel Levi’s presence before you see him and his hand brushes against yours. In an attempt to reassure you. He doesn’t look at you, only concentrating his gaze upon Kenny.

His uncle.  _ Uncle Kenny. _

“Oi, Levi. Lookin’ the same as ever,” Kenny drawls and you see red.

“Shut  _ up _ ,” You hiss, “Shut the  _ fuck up _ -”

Levi quiets you with a look before turning back to Kenny. He’s quiet for a moment, as if he can’t believe that his  _ Uncle Kenny _ is standing in front of him. 

“You’re here because of the weapons business you have,” Levi says, voice perfectly even. Only you can catch the small inclination of fury beneath layers of iciness.

“You somehow wormed your way in with these people. Convinced them that you’re like them,” Levi continues with piercing eyes, “You’re  _ not _ . You’re a  _ weasel _ . A shitty little  _ weasel  _ with no place here. You’re nothing like them. At least they can sleep at night, but you? You don’t deserve to.”

Before Kenny can say anything, Levi’s turned his back on him and you walk side to side with him. Tension radiates off of him in waves as he stews in his quiet anger and you let out a soft sigh.

“Levi,” You murmur, “Come with me.” 

You touch the inside of his wrist and he follows you to an empty room. Boxes upon boxes sit on the sides of the walls. The room is illuminated by drowning sunlight creeping in through a window. You lock the door behind you and take his hand, drawing circles in the inside of his wrist.

“Levi,” You whisper again, pulling him out of his thoughts. He says nothing in reply, only looking at you with that same piercing gaze. Iciness has chipped away from the corners of his eyes, and instead he just looks lost for a moment. It disappears as soon as it comes, but you’re sure it’s a look he wore often when he was a kid.

“I’ll tell Erwin we have to leave,” You say, “He’ll understand, Levi. It’s not worth it.”

His eyes flash at you but you stand your ground.

“Do you want to stay?” You ask, sensing his hesitancy, “We can leave, Levi. We can go home.”

Levi pulls you in without a word and presses his face into the crook of your neck. His breaths are heavy against your skin, trying to calm himself down with your woodsy scent. You run your fingers through his undercut and over the base of his neck, lightly scratching with your freshly done nails.

You just want him to feel safe and you know he doesn’t. Not when Kenny is around.

It’s a few minutes before Levi speaks again, and his voice is even but tight.

“I need to know why he’s here. And how.”

“Levi,” You say softly, cupping his cheek, “Does it matter?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” He says sharply, turning his icy gaze to you. Levi winces when he sees you pull your hand back in alarm. He reaches for your hand again, rubbing circles over your thumb.

“He raised me,” Levi says, “I need to know.”

You nod, eyes round with understanding. But you see a crack through his armor and you press your forehead to his, allowing his shaky breaths to fall onto you. 

“Why is he here?” He whispers, eyes trained on yours. You hear the silent question- why is he here  _ now _ ? Why wasn’t he here  _ before? _ Levi pulls you closer to him by your waist, hands firm and searching for comfort. 

“I don’t know, Levi,” You murmur, “But I’ll kick his ass outta here, you know that. If he even  _ looks _ at you the wrong way-”

Levi cuts you off with a kiss, pouring all of his frustrations, his anguish, his love for you and for life into you. Your startled gasp is muffled, fingers clawing at his shoulders.

“I know,” He whispers when he pulls away, “Saw you about to throttle him earlier. Who do you think you are?”

Levi’s offers you a crooked smile and you press a chaste kiss to his lips.

“Kenny Ackerman’s niece to be, apparently.”

“Is that what he said?” Levi says mildly. You hum and Levi pulls you closer for another stolen kiss. He breathes compliments into your skin with his lips and with featherlike touches of his fingers. You coax his nerves out of him, whispering honeyed promises with your tongue and your touch to his warmed skin.

“We should go,” Levi mutters, pulling away, taking in your heaving chest and swollen lips, “Before people notice that we’re gone.” He runs his thumb over your bottom lip and you nod reluctantly.

“Or we could stay here and make out for the rest of the night,” You protest feebly, already smoothing your dress out and taking his arm as he leads you out of the room.

“We have family business to attend to.”

***

You keep sneaking glances at Levi, unsure of what he’s thinking. You want to hold his hand and rub his back but refrain from doing so. Instead, you reach under the table and touch the palm of his hand to reassure him and before you can pull away, he holds on to your fingers. He’s rigid in his seat, face betraying no trace of emotion. But you know better.

Levi tenses up immediately when Kenny walks across the stage to receive his commendation for being such an  _ esteemed _ donor. Kenny spots him immediately in the crowd, narrowing his eyes with a smug smirk. 

Poor Jean. He probably has no idea what’s going on. A drop of guilt blooms in your chest. He’s supposed to be here to learn. You mentally promise to make it up to him. 

Jean looks at you, then Levi, then the stage. He’s no fool- he can tell how tense the air has become. There’s a crease in Levi’s brow that he’s never seen before.

You’re certain you’ll all receive a scolding from Erwin, but at this point, you truly do not care.

***

“I’ll get the car keys from the valet,” Levi promises, “It’ll take a second.”

His thumb brushes your chin and you nod. He didn’t want to wait for valet to bring his car around, he wanted to get the  _ hell _ out of there as soon as he could. Even if that meant going on a wild goose chase for his car within the parking lot.

“Wait,” You reach for him, “What about Jean? The least we can do is take him home.”

Levi groans and squeezes his eyes shut.

“Fine,” He sighs, “I’ll look for him inside. If I don’t find him in a minute, I’m leaving his ass here.”

You stifle a laugh but nod at him. He leaves you with his blazer when he sees goosebumps on your skin as well as another brush of his thumb against your chin. You admire him from behind, the way his navy colored waistcoat hugs him. As you’re tugging his blazer on and crossing your arms for warmth, you see Jean walking out of the entrance. You’re about to text Levi and tell him that you found Jean, but then you see Kenny following him outside and you swallow.

You thought you could make a getaway without running into Kenny once more. The number of times you’ve seen him tonight is already one too many. Dread fills you, leaving you rooted on the spot as he approaches you with his cool, unassuming smirk.

“You could knock someone dead with that look,” Kenny muses, “I suppose that’s one of the many reasons why my nephew is with you, huh?”

You say nothing as your cheeks flare.

“The silent treatment? That’s not very nice…”

He’s close enough to you that you can see the steel of his eyes. It’s the same steel in Levi’s eyes and you swallow your nerves once more to face him.

“Don’t talk to me about being  _ nice _ , Kenny,” You scoff, “What do you want from me? What do you want from him?”

“Nothin’,” Kenny shrugs, “Can’t I just say hello to my family? See how everyone’s been?”

“No,” You say bluntly, “Leave us alone, Kenny.”

Jean is nowhere to be seen and you breathe a minuscule sign of relief. You don’t want him to listen to this.

You try to move away from him and get back inside the venue, but he grabs your shoulder. Your head snaps back in surprise and then irritation. Shrugging your shoulder out of his grip, you step closer to him. Close enough that he takes a step back.

“Don’t  _ ever _ fuckin’ touch me again,  _ Kenny _ ,” You seethe, “You don’t need to worry about Levi beating your ass. I’ll break your wrist on my fuckin’ own.”

To your surprise, he  _ laughs _ .

“She’d like you, you know. Kuchel,” Kenny laughs, sudden fondness in the lines of his eyes. He pokes your forehead, almost teasing and you  _ ache _ for Levi. This was the man who raised him. And then left him when he was barely a teenager.

“Leave us alone, Kenny,” You murmur, taking a step back, “If he wants to see you, he will. But leave us alone until then.”

“He’s doing okay?” Kenny asks, and you see a familiar crack in his armor. It reminds you of Levi, when he lets his guard down and allows the perceived luxury of vulnerability.

“Yeah,” You reply, “He’s doing okay.”

“You’ll take care of him,” He says, his voice hard. Steel returns to his eyes, but you’re used to it. 

“Always,” You reply without missing a beat. Your heart is out in the open on your sleeve, bleeding and beating for Levi. You wonder if Kenny can sense all of the things you want to say to him.

Kenny pokes your forehead once more, eyes lingering on your face. As if searching for a shred of doubt or reason for disbelief. 

As if he has a right to.

***

Levi was about to give up on looking for Jean when he bursts into the entrance as if he’s seen a ghost. His eyes are wide and he sprints to Levi when he finally spots him across the room. 

“Spit it out, Jean,” Levi says with a raised eyebrow.

“Some guy- There’s some guy out there,” Jean pants, “Looks kinda like you except smiles more. But in a scary way. Talking to her. Figured you should know before I intervened.”

It’s not fair for Levi to be annoyed that Jean left you, but he closes his eyes in irritation.

“And you left her there with  _ him _ ?” Levi asks, walking long strides to get to you.

“All due respect, sir, but she can handle herself,” Jean says easily and Levi stops to give him a look.

“You questioning me, Kirstein?”

“Well, no, sir-”

“Shut up, Kirstein.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Go find my car, Kirstein. Pull up to the front when you do,” Levi says, tossing him his keys. Jean looks flabbergasted for a moment but sprints off to the parking lot.

Of course Levi knows you can handle yourself with Kenny. He just wishes you didn’t have to. 

***

Defiance is written across your features, in the furrow of your eyebrows and the crossing of your arms.

He sees Kenny poke your forehead and he sees you wince. It’s an action that reminds him of when he was young, when Kenny would approve of something he did. He would always receive a poke to the forehead as a thank you, or as a job well done.

Seeing Kenny touch you, no matter how small or fleeting, sends him into a rage that he’s been struggling to contain all evening. Your dark eyes widen when Levi roughly clasps Kenny’s shoulder to pull him back and away from you. 

He’s so close to the edge, about to fall off an invisible precipice and you both know it. Levi pulls his arm back behind him as his hand curls into a fist, just like the way Kenny taught him all those years ago, but before he can land a solid punch on Kenny’s sneering face. Something pulls him back.

“ _ Levi _ ,” You whisper, your arms tight around him, “Do you need this, Levi? Is this what you need?”

Smoke slowly lifts from his eyes as he focuses on your quiet breaths against him and your fingers tracing his chest. The sound of his blood flooding to his ears quiets with each breath of yours. Levi un-clenches his fist and instead, pushes Kenny away in the same breath. He looks at Kenny long and hard, his eyes calming from a raging, stormy sea. Your cheek is still pressed against his back, arms locked around his waist.

Levi offers him nothing more than a scoff and turns his back on him. You peel yourself from his back, giving him a small smile and dare to press a kiss to his cheek. 

“Let’s go home, Levi,” You murmur.

“Kirstein’s getting the car,” Levi says and you can’t help but let out a laugh.

“Really? I’m surprised,” You muse, “You must trust him.”

“He wishes,” Levi scoffs.

Just as you’re about to comment that you would be surprised if he ends up finding it in this sea of cars, he honks at both of you.

Jean can tell that something has happened, from the tired look on your face and the tension in Levi’s shoulders. He hops out of the driver’s seat when Levi barks at him and you scold Levi for his tone. 

“Thank you, Jean,” You murmur, “You’re a good man.” 

You kiss his cheek lightly in gratitude and Jean feels his face heat up. He touches the spot you had kissed in wonder.

“Oi, Kirstein! If you don’t get in the car in the next five seconds, I’m leaving your ass here,” Levi threatens with a glare and you stifle a laugh behind your hand in the passenger seat.

The drive is quiet, save for music playing as background noise and your small talk with Jean. Jean notices you looking over to Levi every so often, gazing at him as if you’re looking for something.

“So,” Jean says, to try to lighten the tension, “Do you come to these often? Do you come  _ together? _ ”

Levi looks like he’s about to say something scathing to Jean but you send him a sizzling glance that keeps him quiet.

“For the last nearly six years… If that’s often, then yes,” You reply, watching in amusement as Jean’s brown eyes widen in shock.

“ _ Six  _ years?!”

“Close your mouth, Jean. You look like a horse,” Levi says plainly and you roll your eyes.

Jean wonders if anyone at all will believe him when he tells them about this evening.

***

As soon as you kick your heels off of your aching feet while leaning against the front door of your apartment, Levi’s arms are around you. Inhaling you in deeply. You relax in his hold, leaning your head against his shoulder as his fingers trace over the delicate veins of your neck.

You can sense his need through the rough calluses of his hands.

Levi tilts your jaw towards his lips, eyeing you for a few moments. Your honeyed eyes are swirling, patient and waiting for him. Your lips are slightly parted and he can’t take it anymore- he can’t take how you still look at him like  _ that. _ As if he’s pulled the stars from his bleeding heart. His blood has turned to fire, eyes molten and smoky as he pulls you in for a rough, searing kiss. You turn in his hold, arms wrapping around his head as fingers slide through his inky hair. Levi gives you half a second to breathe before he’s pressing another kiss to your lips and swallowing any thread of a thought that you have. He doesn’t realize how tightly he’s gripping your hips and your soft sounds hardly register in his mind. He hears you say something, but ignores it, in favor of pushing his lips to your neck. Your sweet spot, the spot that makes your knees go weak. He pulls a small sound from your throat, barely    
aware of your nails scratching his chest from over his clothes.

Then he hears your voice again.

“Levi,” You say softly, barely above a whisper, “Are you okay?”

He ignores you, muffling your concern with the cool press of his mouth to yours. Your hands are firm against his chest this time, pushing him away lightly. Just a few breaths away. Not too far.

“ _ Levi _ ,” You press, “What do you  _ need _ , Levi?”

He can’t take the sweet sound of his name on your lips. The way it sounds like honey, dripping from your tongue and into the air. His eyes are uncharacteristically wild, tendrils of vivid affection swirling together.

“You,” He finally says raspily, “It’s always you.”

You give him a small smile with glowing cheeks, and he wants to drown in your adoration.

“C’mere, Levi.”

Your arms wrap around him tightly, tucking his face in your neck. You rub his back gently while your other hand runs through his hair the way he likes.

“Today was a long day,” You breathe into his ear, nipping his earlobe lightly. He hums into your neck, his breaths evening out. You pull his dress shirt out from the hold of his pants while still rubbing circles over his back.

“Did you see Jean’s face? Poor kid,” You laugh lightly, “Think he’ll come to one of these things again?”

Your honeyed voice anchors him, and he wants to  _ sink _ into you.

“He’s a good kid,” You continue, “Like you. Like I know you were. Like I know you  _ are. _ I know your heart. You gave it to me, remember?”

You snake your hand to his chest and lightly scratch at his left side. 

“I need you, Levi,” You murmur, tipping his chin from the crook of your neck to meet his eyes, “Can you feel how much?”

You move his hand first to your chest, where he can feel your heart beating fast. Like a hummingbird. His gaze is sharp, eyes boring into yours and you don’t falter. You lift the skirt of your dress to your waist with one hand and take his hand, allowing him to brush his fingers against your panties.

Levi’s throat goes dry at your unwavering, hazy eyes and rubs you over your panties. He swallows when a soft sigh escapes your pretty lips.

“You gonna do somethin’ about it or what, Levi?” You drawl, a smirk tugging at your lips. He sees the plea in your eyes, your plea for him to come back to you.

His thumb circles your panties once more, avoiding where you need him the most. Your smirk crumbles into a pout quickly and you try to buck your hips into his hand to get him to touch you. You watch him rub circles over your panties, finally getting the friction you so crave. He noses your neck, pressing his searing lips to yours fiercely.

His eyes aren’t so wild anymore, but his touches are.

You fumble with the buttons of his waistcoat, fingers slipping with every touch of his lips to yours. You’re uncoordinated and clumsy, getting frustrated with yourself. How is he so good at doing things with his eyes closed? 

Levi senses your frustration and lets out a breathy chuckle. His hand is still under your dress, lazily teasing you’ve and you finally open your eyes to unbutton his waistcoat and dress shirt with shaky fingers. 

You’re suddenly taken back to a memory of the first time you had  _ seen _ him. You were one of his firsts and he was far from yours. He wanted to do right by you, and it took time for him to learn what you liked and how to please you and make you  _ sigh _ in that sweet, breathy way.

Levi pushes your panties to the side, thumb circling your bundle of nerves. You gasp in surprise at the sudden but welcome warmth.

You manage to pull his shirt off of his shoulders, leaving his chest bare in front of you. Hunger floods your senses, hunger for this man in front of you. For  _ your _ man, who has given you his heart despite his heart being so heavy for so long. 

You feel your panties being pushed down your legs when Levi crouches on the floor. His fingers squeeze your thighs and your calves lightly as he looks up at you. You step out of your panties as he tugs you by your hands.

“Come here,” Levi mumbles, pulling you into his lap.

Levi reaches behind you to search for the zipper of your dress with his fingers. He peels the dress off of you easily and you can’t say that he’s looking at you like you’re a goddess in his arms because he looks at you like this every day. All the time. But that’s what this look reminds you of. Before, when you were in your early stages of your relationship, it intimidated you. The depth of his devotion. 

But now, it surrounds you and you welcome it.

Just before he sets your dress on the couch to keep it off of the floor, you stop him.

“Let me put it in the hamper,” You murmur, “We’ll forget about it and then I’ll wake up in the middle of the night because it’ll be bothering me.”

That’s one of the many reasons that his love for you runs deep. You can keep up with his need for cleanliness. Levi follows you into the bedroom with his shirt, waistcoat and your panties in his hands. And his eyes on the arch of your bare ass and the curve of your spine.

“Give me that,” You say, turning around to take his dress shirt and waistcoat. You place it in the  _ special _ hamper, the one designated for dry cleaning. 

Levi tosses your black panties into your hamper with an unassuming smirk and you can’t help but wonder how a simple action like that turns your stomach over in arousal. Levi pulls you towards him, littering your hips with fleeting touches before squeezing your ass firmly.

His lips are on yours in an instant, pulling you even closer into his chest. Your fingers spread over his scarred shoulder, fingernails pressing into his skin. You pull a groan from him and trail your fingers down his chest. Scratching where you see fit, scratching over the smattering of dark hair leading into his pants.

Levi snakes a hand in between you, fluttering over your chest. His fingers are replaced by his lips quickly, as your breath hitches with each bite of his lips to your skin. You can’t get enough of his mouth on you, or of the way the shadows fall over his broad shoulders and taut muscles. His other hand brushes against your heated center and your hips buck into his hands involuntarily. 

You can taste his longing, hidden in the crevices of his lips, the roughness of his touch against you. The way he slots himself with you, molding into every curve of your body. You hear your own soft moans and calls of his name as his lips touch every part of your soul.

Without a word, he hooks his arms under your thighs and lifts you up. His lips are still on your skin, wherever he can reach. You lock your arms behind his head, tugging his hair back tight enough that it pulls him back. An audible groan escapes his throat when you pull at his hair.

Something you had discovered early on that he liked.

He stumbles for just a step before regaining his balance. You let out a breathy laugh into his neck before pressing a kiss there. Then behind his ear. Close to his collarbones. Along the expanse of his chest.

Levi gently drops you to the bed, drinking you in from above with wide eyes. The voracity in his darkened eyes  _ nearly  _ makes you look away but you hold his gaze. He surges forward, unable to fathom another moment of not touching you.

He grinds into you lazily, your bare center seeking more friction than the roughness of his pants.

“Levi,” You nearly whine, pulling at his belt buckle, “Take it off, Levi.”

“ _ You _ take it off,” He drawls, voice low. Your heart flutters and your throat goes dry.

You sit up, drawing your knees to your chest and pull him closer to you by his belt. Your movements are slow as you unbuckle his belt and toss it to the floor, and you yank his pants and boxer briefs down in one swift motion.

Levi can’t deny that the way your eyes always widen when you see him strokes his ego.

“Off, Levi,” You say softly and he tosses his pants into his hamper before ducking down to meet your lips- your chest- your navel. 

Levi presses a hand to your center and you gasp, the pretty sound floating into the air and reverberating in his ears. He holds your hips steady with his forearm as he circles your clit with his thumb. He hoists your legs over his shoulders while gazing at you with that same tenacious look.

Lust and love mixes together to make your eyes a darkened brown.

You gasp his name breathily, back arching slightly with the first flick of his tongue against your center. He maintains his gaze, eyes piercing into yours and your toes curl at the added intensity. You struggle to keep your eyes open but Levi squeezes your hips every so often as a reminder. He squeezes your breasts, pinching and tweaking. 

He pulls his hand away to rub your clit with his thumb as his tongue laps you up. Levi wasn’t  _ always _ this good with his tongue and with his fingers. It took you both some time to get in sync with each other, in terms of what you both  _ liked. _

Time and patience, which you both had infinite amounts of for each other.

Stars are beginning to dot your eyelids, your hands bunching up in the sheets as urgent, broken whispers of his name float into the air. Just as your thighs begin to shake and your toes curl, he pulls his lips away from your aching, empty center and you could  _ scream _ .

Levi does this often. He brings you to the edge, only to back away. Only to take you there once more. Like clockwork.

The smug smirk on his face makes you want to kiss him. So you do. You pull him into your arms, grinding into his hardened length and hungrily bite his bottom lip. Your stolen release burns in the back of your mind but you give it no attention. Levi groans in pain at your bite and you smile against the kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. You lock your legs around his waist, holding him in place and reach in between your bodies to stroke him in your hand. Levi bucks against your hand with a low moan.

“I want you, Levi,” You whisper into his ear, nipping at his earlobe. Warmth pools in his belly at that and he looks dazed for a moment before snapping out of it. Your lips are parted and swollen, brown skin glistening and warm, dark eyes wide and wanting.

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Levi mutters, “I need to be inside you right now.”

You nod vehemently, parting your legs for him quickly. He looks to your dripping center and guides himself in one swift glide. Both of you groan in unison and Levi stills for a moment when you pull him in for a kiss. You run a hand through his hair, smiling when he groans as you clench around him.

“Don’t do that,” He says breathily, playfully biting at your shoulder.

“Why? You gonna cum or somethin’?” You tease, earning yourself a squeeze to your hips.

“Shut up.”

Before you can say anything back to him, he lifts himself up over you, arms around your head. His hair falls into his eyes, tickling your heated cheeks and he shallowly thrusts into you. It’s the sweetest burn, the way he fits in you. 

Your eyes begin to water when his thrusts get deeper. You subconsciously tilt your head to the side, away from him and Levi kisses your neck. He nudges your jaw with his nose to pull your eyes to him. You crane your neck up to press a kiss to his lips but he pushes himself into you particularly roughly and you moan into his mouth.

Levi pulls you up into his lap, arms tight around your hips and you hum. His lithe fingers are everywhere- cupping your neck, holding your thighs steady on either side of his waist, your scalp.

You’re gasping his name as he pushes into you and murmurs soft notes of encouragement into your neck. He watches as he slides in and out of your wetness with darkened cheeks. Nails scrape his back and he winces for a second but pays it no mind. Your soft breaths and whines of his name against his neck are distracting enough.

Levi rubs your folds lazily as he thrusts up into you. All you see, hear and feel is him and you’re overwhelmed. You raise your head to meet his searing eyes with an arm hooked around his head and sloppily press your lips to his. 

Heat pools your belly once more, and you can nearly  _ see _ stars about to burst behind your eyelids once more. Levi can sense that you’re close, in the way your legs quiver around him and in the way you clench around him. He rubs your clit in tight circles, coaxing you to the edge. Where he’s right there to catch you.

“Good girl,” Levi whispers, and your eyes widen like they always do.

He holds you tightly when you cum with a soft gasp and shaky legs. You’re panting broken notes of his name into his skin. Levi peppers your face with kisses. He’s still inside you and you give him a devilish smile.

You push him down to the bed and dig your nails into his chest teasingly. He knows that look in your eyes all too well. You stretch your torso, your hands skimming your sides and brush your fingers over your clit to tease yourself. Levi groans and plants his hands firmly on your hips. Squeezing your ass and your thighs as he pleases.

“You feel so  _ good _ , Levi,” You breathe, as if it’s a secret only for his ears. You start to rock against him, hips dragging across his heated skin. The friction from his skin sends a shudder up your spine and Levi slides his hands over your sides before squeezing your.

Levi loves the way your eyes shine with desire and an undercurrent of trust. He loves the way your brown skin glistens with a thin layer of sweat, the way you’re clawing at him for something to hold on to. Levi pulls you close to him, kissing up and down your chest. 

You find a rhythm and ignore the way your thighs burn as you take all of him in. The only sounds in the four walls of the bedroom is the sound of your skin slapping on his and his shaky breaths. Levi is always so composed- seeing him come undone by your hands sends another pool of heat into your belly.

“Shit,” Levi groans, throwing his head back and tightening his grip on your thighs. His hooded eyes are trained on you, watching you bounce as your legs slowly begin to tire out. But you’re determined, he can see it in your face. He loves watching you like this- determination and desire mixing together. Levi rubs your clit with his thumb and you gasp, your legs beginning to shake once more. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you flat against him, thrusting into you.

You clench around him without meaning to and he moans breathlessly in your ear, feverishly pressing his lips to your throat to stave off his climax until yours. You can feel how close he is, in his sloppy thrusts, the way his legs jerk against yours and you breathe him permission for him to cum inside of you.

Levi gasps your name into your skin as he cums, his stomach tightening as you feel warmth inside of you and beginning to leak down your thighs. He’s about to pull out but you stop him with a tug of his wrist.

“Stay,” You mumble and he swallows. He’s sensitive, but he stays. He flips you over so you’re under him and rubs at your clit lazily while his lips find your salty skin. Your senses are deliciously overwhelmed as Levi engulfs you.

“ _ Levi _ ,” You nearly cry, water gathering in the corners of your eyes. You’re overwhelmed by the love you have for him, by the love you feel and see in his grey eyes. Your nails are piercing against his bicep but he hardly feels it. You’re so  _ close _ , and he needs to feel you come apart under him.

Your grip is tight around his arms, lips parted as your back arches when you finally cum for the second time so far. 

“Good girl,” Levi murmurs again, kissing your hairline, your heated cheeks and your chin. 

You rub your foot up and down his calf with a small smile. You hold him close to you, enjoying his warmth as it lights you up from inside out.

“We should go shower,” You murmur, rubbing a hand over your face.

“Why? You thought we were done?” 

“You’re right. How stupid of me,” You muse, earning yourself a pinch to your waist.

“You’ve said worse.”

***

Fatigue settles in your bones after the fourth, or was it fifth, orgasm of the night. Your eyes are heavy, both from the events of the day as well as the events of the night. You hear Levi panting next to you, exhausted as well.

But you can’t rest. Not yet.

“Levi,” You nudge his shoulder, “We have to shower.”

“Give me a minute,” He says hoarsely.

“Can’t believe you seduced me into sex before washing up after the gala. You’ve made me lose my marbles.”

“ _ Me _ ?” Levi says, flabbergasted.

You hum, closing your eyes for a few minutes. You feel Levi’s weight shift and he carries you to the bathroom on shaky legs. Once you’re under the warm water, you groan as it soothes your sore muscles. You feel heavy, but weightless at the same time. Levi holds you up with your back to his chest and washes you down with his shower gel quickly but effectively. It smells just like him and you inhale deeply. 

You swear you could fall asleep like this, and Levi knows it. You’re beginning to yawn widely enough that your eyes water. But you open your eyes to take the gel from him and lather him down slowly, taking your time with the dips and crevices of his body.

You even manage to sneak a kiss onto his bruised lips in between.

Levi holds you under the spray of the water for a few moments, with your head over his shoulder and an arm around your waist. His heartbeat is even and steady, so close to lulling you back to sleep.

“Stay awake,” Levi says softly but firmly, “Still have to towel off.”

You give him a noncommittal answer but pull away from him and wait for him to give you your towel. His dark hair is slightly damp, cheeks flushed from the heat of the water and from  _ you _ . You can’t help but run your fingers through his hair as he wraps a towel around his waist and around you. Your limbs feel pliable, and  _ damn _ , you are  _ so tired. _

Levi holds the implicit, unwavering trust you have for him in the palm of his hands and carries it carefully but confidently. He moisturizes the both of you, knowing that you hate waking up to dry skin.

“Raise your arms,” Levi murmurs and slides a sleep shirt over your head. He pats your head when you look up at him with a sleepy smile and nearly closed eyes. 

“C’mon, it’s bedtime for us,” Levi says, carrying you to bed and drawing the covers over both of you. He presses a kiss to your shoulder as a goodnight and wraps himself around you. His legs intertwine with yours, and he draws you close to him. You’re fast asleep in minutes, your hand loose around his.

***

It’s the middle of the night when you wake up to a cold bed. You rub sleepiness out of your eyes and stretch your muscles, feeling every inch of the delicious soreness. Especially in your legs.

A soft but unsurprised sigh leaves your lips when you see the empty bed and the faint glow of the lights in the living room.

Levi is sitting on the couch, scrolling his phone mindlessly. His eyes are tired but you can tell his mind is spinning.

You wordlessly take one of his favorite teacups from the kitchen cabinet and start making tea for him. It’s a teacup that you had bought for him, painted black with gold accents. It reminded you of him.

He lifts his head a little at the scent of his favorite tea.

You bring his teacup and the teapot in a tray to the coffee table and tuck your bare legs under yourself to sit a few inches next to him, unsure if he wants space. When he says nothing for a few minutes, you assume he wants to be alone and you press a kiss to his hair. To leave and go back into the bedroom.

But he tugs your hand gently and so you stay.

“Come back to bed, Levi,” You murmur softly, fingers in his dark strands of hair.

It’s 3:18 AM and Levi drinks his black tea in his overhanded manner, leaning into your touch.

“Can’t stop thinking,” Levi finally says, “About Kenny.”

You’re not surprised.

“He asked me if I would take care of you,” You muse. Tension immediately fills his shoulders but you press your fingers into his muscles to calm him down.

“He told me that your mother would like me.”

Levi cracks a small smile at that.

“I told him to leave us alone, unless you want to see him,” You reply, “Then I told him I’d break his wrist if he touched me again.” 

Levi kisses your cheek.

“Do you? Do you want to see him?” You ask, pressing a finger to his cheek.

“I don’t know,” Levi says honestly.

“It’s okay if you do. You don’t need anyone’s permission or justification but your own if you do want to see him,” You say firmly.

“Come with me. If I decide that I want to,” Levi breathes.

“Of course,” You nod determinedly.

He presses his lips to your forehead before leaning his forehead on yours.

“He did this, too,” You murmur, poking his forehead, “Oddly affectionate for a man with asshole tendencies.”

Levi lets out a soft chuckle.

“I saw,” Levi says, “He used to do that when I was a kid.”

“I figured.”

You lean your head on his shoulder, tracing patterns over the scars on his chest. Sleep is threatening to overtake you with the steady hum of his heart against your ear. 

“Let’s go to bed, honey.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. misplaced memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> reader goes through a bad breakup. takes place 4 years before the current story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is reader centric!! i hope you enjoy! (im on tumblr at vennilavee)

Levi walks past your empty office, a morsel of curiosity wiggling its way into his mind. You’ve been gone for three days and it was an abrupt absence. You hardly ever take days off without letting everyone know. He wonders if you’re sick or something. But you were fine on Monday… So what is it?

At least Erwin of all people has to know, as your direct boss. But Levi stays out of it, shifting his eyes to the interns who are furiously typing away on their laptops at their cubicles. He takes a sip of his hot tea and heads into his own office, putting thoughts of you to the back of his mind.

***

Levi doesn’t see you until the following week and when you finally do return, you come back as if you hadn’t been mysteriously gone for four days. He says nothing when he passes you in the hallway going to his office, only offering you a small nod of acknowledgement.

Your lips might be impeccably painted, blazer pristine and lashes curled, but Levi sees nothing but pain sitting in the planes of your pretty face. 

You don’t offer a smile back as you normally would. You don’t have it in you to break the lines of your lips to do so.

Concentration doesn’t come easy to you that day. You’re uncomfortable, out of your element. Maybe you should’ve stayed home. But you’ve been home for the better part of a week. You’re lucky that Erwin is your friend and that he allowed you this much time to wallow.

You’re uncomfortable in your own skin. You subconsciously itch your wrist with sharp nails. 

You’re  _ single _ . It sounds foreign to you, considering you’d been in a relationship with your now ex-girlfriend for a little over a year. You stare at your fingers, at the absence of any of the jewelry she had gifted to you over the last few months.

You thought it was the real deal. And then it wasn’t. Something inside of you lurches when you glance at the photo of both of you near your monitor. With shaky hands and shaky breaths, you manage to peel the photo out of the frame. You don’t want to look at it but you don’t have the heart to throw it away. You tuck it into your backpack, hoping it gets crumpled without your intervention.

And she had broken up with  _ you _ . The worst part was you hadn’t even seen it coming. Not even a month ago, you were talking about moving in together. 

You sigh, trying to avoid the inevitable spiral of despair. You can’t tiptoe down that dangerous path, not when you have a mountain of work to catch up on.

***

You keep to yourself mostly over the next few weeks at work. Levi comes to wonder when you’ll barge into his office without permission, as you usually do. He doesn’t see you with Hange in her office, scolding her about her habits or giggling over gossip. 

Your door is closed, and Levi can’t think of the last time he’s ever seen your office with it’s door closed. Levi was tempted to knock on your door but he can’t even tell if you’re inside. He hears the faint noise of typing. And then he hears a frustrated sniffle.

Levi steps away, not wanting to hear something that he shouldn’t. He hears you curse under your breath before he swiftly walks back to his office, pretending he was never there.

***

Leaning back in your office chair, you sigh heavily as iciness seems to fill your bloodstream slowly but surely. Has the ceiling always looked like that? So awfully bland and commonplace? Dull and dismal? Like  _ you _ ? Is that why she left?

Is that why she left?

You nearly scoff at yourself. Look at you, dictating your own self-worth over the actions and reactions of the person you love. Or loved. Love? Present tense? Can those intense feelings dissipate so quickly? What bothers you even more is that you didn’t even see it coming.

How could you not see it coming? How could you be so delusional to think that everything was fine, when apparently, it wasn’t?

How could she allow you the false sense of security? How could  _ you  _ allow yourself the false sense of security?

But maybe you had missed the signs. Were there any signs?

Maybe people just fall out of love. At least, that’s what she had said to you. That it didn’t feel the same. It’s not you, it’s me. 

Who were you to argue with that? You’ll refuse to beg, refuse to beg for an explanation, refuse to beg for her love. Even if she had plunged her anchor of a hand into your stupid, foolish heart and squeezed until you couldn’t breathe… You would  _ never  _ beg.

You swallow the ache in your lungs and bury it in the pit of your stomach, make yourself a cup of coffee and get to work.

***

A month. Then two. Then four. And suddenly, it’s six months later.

You’re walking into work on this bright, beautiful Monday morning. Birds are chirping, the sun is high in the sky and there’s even a light breeze in the air.

You’re coming off of a weekend long bender, complete with a throbbing headache and the taste of cotton in your mouth. Your reflexes are delayed and the sun burns red in your retinas despite your sunglasses. You hope Levi doesn’t catch the wrinkles on your collar and on your shirt. You don’t think you can handle his sharp tongue and scathing look. Not today.

You had barely gotten ready to leave for work on time this morning. It had taken far too long to kick your guest out of bed.

Your guest from the night before. You barely remember her name, you only remember the scent of her sweet, vanilla perfume. You recall it being almost  _ too _ sweet. 

The thought makes you gag. 

Yeah. You’re dealing with the break up  _ really _ well.

You set your backpack down in your office and head to the break room to make yourself some coffee. Of course, Levi is already there with his teacup. 

“Sunglasses inside? You look like an asshole,” Levi greets you, raising his teacup in acknowledgement.

“Thanks. You’re a dick,” You mutter, putting your coffee beans into the coffee machine and taking the creamer from the fridge.

“You look like shit.”

“You done yet?” You shoot him a scathing glare. Not that he’d be able to tell.

It would be almost comical, if you didn’t show up like this more and more over the last few months. He knows Hange and Erwin are worried, not wanting to set you off by confronting you about your behavior. Hell, he’s worried, too. That you’re hurting in a way you don’t even realize. That you need to heal in a way that might feel foreign and uncomfortable to you.

A hand brushes over your shoulder as he exits the breakroom, a wordless but welcome comfort. Your shoulders relax at his fleeting touch and you stir your coffee absently.

***

It had been a pure coincidence. It had been a stroke of fate, a laughable atrocity. That’s the only explanation, for why your ex-girlfriend is staring you in the face with another woman from across the club.

Mike, Hange, Levi and Erwin had asked if you’d like to join them at a club on Friday to end the week. At first, you had declined. And then changed your mind because you realized that you missed your friends terribly. You can’t recall the last time you had seen their faces for more than a few minutes outside of work.

You had even invited them to your apartment to have drinks beforehand- 

_ Your speakers are charged, the apartment freshly cleaned, and alcohol recently stocked in anticipation for company coming over.  _

_ You wonder what Levi will think of your cleaning. _

_ One by one they arrive, first Levi and Erwin, ever so punctual. Then Mike, with Nanaba. And last, but not least, Hange. About thirty minutes after all of them. You’re all already one drink into the evening and you eagerly give Hange a mix of her favorite cocktail. _

_ You see Levi peering around your apartment in mild curiosity, and you can’t help but tease him. _

_ “What? You impressed that someone can clean better than you?” _

_ “No,” Levi rolls his eyes, but you see the twitch in his lips. _

_ “It’s alright, Levi. You can admit it.” _

_ “I’d rather choke on my own tongue, thanks.” _

_ “Now that’s a sight I’d pay to see.” _

_ You wink at him and walk away for a minute, when Hange calls your name to take a shot with her. It’s tequila, and it burns in the best way. Only Hange can get you to agree to tequila. As you walk away, Levi watches the curve of your hips, the glistening tan of your skin, the way your heels and your jeans make your legs look endless. _

_ He’s not immune to you. You’re pretty, but more than that, you’re funny and brilliant and caring. He thinks your ex-girlfriend is an idiot for letting you go, if anyone was to ask for his opinion. As your friend, of course. _

_ Levi takes a hearty gulp of his drink, vaguely realizing how strong you had made it. Apparently, you were heavy handed with your pour. _

_ Suddenly, his neck feels hot when he watches you lick your hand with salt and throw your head back to take your shot of tequila. The junction of your neck is accentuated by the necklace you’re wearing- it’s tight and inviting around your neck. And then the slight wince on your face, before thrusting a lime slice into your mouth. _

_ He rolls his eyes at the thoughts floating through his mind before turning his gaze away and observing your apartment. It’s warm, littered with pieces and parts of you. A few frames hang on the walls, a painting above your couch. A mahogany bookcase to the right, next to your corner of plants. Your bookcase has clearly worn out books in it, some dog eared and some not. But you also have some trinkets on the shelves- a snowglobe, a small royal blue box with a golden ribbon on it and a little pink succulent in a painted clay pot. _

_ There’s a light coating of dust on some of the shelves, but he’ll keep that to himself for a bit. _

It seems like forever ago that you were in the comfort of your own apartment with your friends. You’re frozen in place, and it seems like she is, too. The woman on her arm glances at you, then at her, and then back at you before shaking her head and walking away.

You hardly notice. Because you only see your ex-girlfriend, in this crowded sea of people. And you feel almost nothing. Except for hurt, sadness, and the anger that follows. You have a million words to say to her and twice as many questions, except your tongue feels like lead in your mouth. 

The bass thumps through your veins as a coldness washes over you.

Was there anything even left to say?

No. You decide there isn’t. You’ve already come to terms with the fact that closure isn’t always what you need it to be.

Before she can get a word in edgewise, you turn your back on her and head back to your friends at your table. Levi notices that your lips are pulled into a grim line and that your shoulders are tense. But you say nothing, instead only offering to buy another round of shots for everyone. And then another. And  _ just _ another.

Soon enough, your arms are wrapped around Hange’s waist as you both sip on matching drinks. A lazy, drunken grin is plastered on your face and you’re nearly swaying on your feet as you and Hange both sing along to the song playing through the club speakers.

Levi can feel a headache brewing. He usually  _ hates _ places like this for the most part. But it’s not so bad, he thinks. Maybe because despite the crowd, the noise, the dirtiness of bodies close to each other… He still feels like he’s in his own bubble with Hange, Mike, Erwin, Nanaba and  _ you _ . 

As quickly as your smile had floated across your face, dripping in drunkenness, it sours. Levi follows your line of vision and sees a woman who looks familiar. He can’t quite place it, and it takes him a few seconds to realize that it’s your ex-girlfriend. She’s currently walking towards you with a determined look in her eyes.

Conversely, your dark eyes have turned icy and you’ve recollected yourself quickly. Levi doesn’t know anything about your previous relationship. All he knows is that it was an unexpected break-up.

“Can we talk?” An unfamiliar voice asks and your eyes narrow. 

Levi thinks that he would hate to be on the receiving end of that stare.

“No. I have nothing to say,” You say coldly. You flinch when she tries to reach out to you. Levi doesn’t miss the way your hand tightens around your drink.

Should you grant her the dignity of the closure she needs? Are you mature enough to do that? You want to hurt her the same way she hurt you, and you’re not above admitting that. 

Despite the alcohol coursing through your system, you’ve never felt so clear headed before.

“Seriously? That’s a surprise,” She scoffs and Levi can see steam coming out of your ears.

“Are you  _ kidding _ me,” You laugh mirthlessly, “You given’ me attitude?  _ You _ are giving  _ me _ attitude?”

“I’m just asking if you wanted to talk-”

“I wanted to talk  _ six fucking months ago! _ ” You hiss and step away from the table to face her. And so that your friends don’t need to hear you airing out your dirty laundry. 

Your eyes are wild, rage and hurt and  _ poison _ flooding into them through an already broken dam. 

“Fine,” You shrug, once you find a relatively quiet place away from people, “Let’s talk. What could you possibly want to say to me?”

Your heart aches, in that familiar way that makes you want to twist your limbs together and never leave the safety of the four walls of your home. And yet, you are here. About to have a very belated conversation with your ex-girlfriend. You want to say a million things to her, you want to spit steel into her heart, the same way she did with you. You want to show her the poison that has curled in your blood and left a bitter taste in your mouth that leaves you choking most nights.

She can have a taste of your angry mouth when all she’s known from you is your softened, sweet lips.

She opens her mouth first, but you beat her to the punch-

“I cannot  _ fucking _ believe that after  _ six _ months of you not taking my calls or answering my texts or anything- the only fuckin’ reason that we’re discussing anything is because of a happy coincidence,” You seethe, pointing an accusing finger at her.

“You just- you just  _ fucking left!  _ And verbatim, you said ‘it’s not you, it’s me’! So it was just me, when we were talking about moving in together? It was just me when I told you I loved you? When I told you that we could work through anything, it was  _ just me? _ !

“I can’t believe you, and I can’t- I can’t explain to you what it’s like. To be completely blindsided by someone who you thought was your other half. Only for them to say that the last year and a half just isn’t what they wanted. And for you to already have determined that this wasn’t worth salvaging-  _ god _ , you are so- fucking-  _ full of it!” _

Your voice is loud, attracting several onlookers but you don’t notice. You feel like you’re in a pit of hell and that you’re about to be swallowed by flames. Tears of frustration, anger and hurt are dotting your eyes and you hate it. You hate that you’ve become this way, afraid to show vulnerability to anyone who  _ might _ care about you.

“I deserved better! You know that right? You didn’t deserve me.”

She looks stunned into speechlessness and you want to turn away and turn your back on her. But you stay planted on the spot, subconsciously waiting for some semblance of regret or remorse.

You catch a flicker of it but it passes, and you wonder how you could have loved a person this much and still have known nothing about them.

“I’m sorry I ended things the way I did. I didn’t want to hurt you,” She begins and you don’t interrupt, “And I know it was selfish of me, the way I didn’t communicate with you what I wanted and needed. And led you on. I should’ve gone about it differently. And for that, I’m sorry.”

The roaring fire in your belly is slowly fading and suddenly, you’re exhausted. Your shoulders slump and you offer her a small smile.

“Did you love me? When we were together?” You ask quietly, and somehow she hears you through the chaos of the club. 

You know she did. You just need to hear it from her.

“Yes, of course I did,” She murmurs, “I still care about you. I want the best for you, I really mean that. And the best for you isn’t me.”

“Likewise,” You reply and find it in yourself to wrap your arms around her for one last hug.

You expel the final death of the relationship into the air with a cathartic breath. Despite the buildup of hurt, anger, betrayal and loss from the last few months, you feel nothing but relief. You are free from the invisible cage of closure, and you finally feel your wings spreading once more.

***

How can it be that just a five minute interaction can put your mind at ease so quickly? You had expected lingering resentment, or lingering  _ something _ … And yet, all you feel is relief. That you were able to say what you had to say. 

It still boggles your mind that even though it’s been six months since the relationship ended, all you needed to fully move on was a five minute confrontation. Maybe you were mostly there anyway, though. 

Maybe time does heal all wounds.

Either way, all you know is that you’re suddenly very emotionally exhausted and you’re certain it shows on your face.

Hange looks like she wants to ask you what that was all about but she keeps her mouth shut, offering you the remainder of your drink. You give her a wan smile and finish the rest of it before rubbing your temples.

“You know what. I think I’m going to head out,” You finally say, fastening your clutch tightly under your arm, “Gettin’ tired.”

You appreciate their looks of concern but honestly, you just want to wash your face, put on comfortable clothes, bury yourself under your covers and maybe cry a little.

“I’ll leave with you,” Levi says after a few seconds, “I hate this place anyways.”

Yes. He tells himself that  _ that’s _ why he’s quick to leave. A small grin graces your face before you give hugs to everyone in the group and slink away to the coat check. Levi follows you out of the club to wait for a cab and you both stand in silence.

“I can get a cab home by myself,” You finally say, turning to face him.

“Okay,” Levi shrugs, “I don’t know where you live anyways.”

“Stohess district,” You reply, but your voice is far away as you turn to glance around the street, “Hey, do you want to grab food? It’s on me.”

Your dark eyes are wide, pleading and slick with loneliness. You don’t want to be left alone with your thoughts just yet. You can barely handle yourself on a good day, let alone  _ right now. _

“Sure,” Levi says. He’s not particularly hungry but he’ll entertain you anyways.

“There’s a great ramen place around here…” You say, brushing shoulders with him to lead the way.

You feel as if you’re moving on auto-pilot. Maybe you should’ve just gone home. But you don’t want to be home. You don’t want to be alone, not tonight. You’ll prolong the inevitable for just a little longer. You can’t handle being alone right now. Not yet. 

Levi sits on the opposite side of you in the booth. There are several people at the restaurant but it’s relatively quiet, besides the bustle of the late night. You both sit in silence, but it’s not uncomfortable. At this angle, Levi can see signs and lines of fatigue on your face. But you still smile at him in that brilliant and disarming way, as if you hadn’t had a confrontation that had been in the works for months.

“Good, right?” You mumble, after another slurp of your ramen.

“Yeah. Tastes fresh,” Levi replies.

“It is.”

Another beat of silence.

“Thanks. For leaving the club with me. And coming with me to get food. Sorry I’m so- that I’m like this,” You murmur, looking into your ramen and continuing to eat. As if you hadn’t just apologized for your very existence.

It incenses Levi and he can’t bite his tongue.

“Who made you like that?” Levi asks casually.

“Who made me like  _ what? _ ” You ask with a raised eyebrow, setting your chopsticks in the bowl.

“Made you feel like you had to apologize for being yourself.”

Your eyes are wide and lips parted in surprise, “I d-don’t-”

“You don’t need to apologize for wanting company after what I’m sure was an incredibly taxing encounter with your ex-girlfriend,” Levi says bluntly, meeting your startled eyes.

You avert your gaze immediately, unable to hold his penetrating stare.

“O-Okay, Levi,” You breathe.

And you continue to eat your ramen.

“You’re not very good at pretending,” Levi observes dryly, “So don’t. Especially around your friends.”

The statement brings tears to your eyes and a dry lump to your throat. This man, who you’ve barely been a real friend to in the last few months, can read you like a book. Lately, the few times you’re reminded that you have people in your life who love you wholly and unabashedly, it brings waves of emotions you haven’t felt in a while to the forefront of your heart.

“If you’re going to cry, don’t get it in your ramen,” Levi says, voice uncharacteristically soft.

It pulls a watery noise, halfway in between a laugh and a sob, out of you. You both eat in silence, with some occasional quips thrown in between, until Levi pulls his card out to give to the waiter before you can. He moves with the speed and grace of an angel.

He’s an angel with steely eyes, dark hair and a tender heart. You’re certain of it.

  
  
  
  



	5. diamonds in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a night with you and your friends. a night with levi and his friends. a night together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy! catch me on tumblr @ vennilavee

Levi watches from the door frame with his arms crossed across his chest as you apply one last swipe of your mascara to your lashes. You pucker your lips for just another coat of gloss.  _ His _ favorite gloss, he notes. It had subconsciously become your favorite, too.

“You look good,” Levi says, his voice flat as ever.

You’re so used to Levi moving silently that his sudden appearance doesn’t even make you jump. Passing him a bright smile, you look at yourself in the mirror again. You’re well aware of his steely gaze on you, especially when you decide to keep your hair pulled back and out of your face.

“Can I help you with somethin’, Levi,” You drawl and walk past him and straight to his cologne. 

Tonight, you feel like wearing his cologne over your own perfume and Levi lets out a noise of protest.

“You gonna replace that bottle when you use it up? It was a present,” Levi says when you start spritzing yourself.

“Yeah. A present from  _ me _ ,” You roll your eyes.

Levi finally approaches you, hands skimming along your waist and brushing over the flowy material of your top. It’s a low cut muted orange colored top, leaving plenty of room for him to press his lithe fingers to your exposed chest.

You hold your necklace in front of him, silently asking him to clasp it for you. His touch against your bare neck sends a barely concealed shudder to wrack your spine deliciously. Then, the pads of his fingers press into the column of your neck, followed by the flutter of his warm lips. A soft sigh escapes your lips when he tightens his hold around your waist and turns you around for a barely there kiss to your lips.

Before you can cling to him, he pulls away with a devious look in his eye.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be? Your friends are waiting,  _ sweetheart _ ,” He says, patting your thigh expectantly.

“Thanks for your concern over my punctuality,  _ honey _ ,” You roll your eyes but can’t resist a smile, “Wanna have a drink with me?”

You have a heavy hand when you mix drinks, and one drink turns into two quickly. For you at least. Levi had silenced your offer to call an Uber to your friend’s apartment for the pregame with a heavy glare. A glare like that means that it’s not up for discussion, you had quickly come to realize.

Music is playing from your speakers, something fun that would normally make you want to dance. It’s low, but still loud enough to pump through your veins. But you just watch Levi over the rim of your glass. You quickly finish your drink, feeling the soft tendrils of tipsiness clouding your mind warmly. Leaning into Levi, you nuzzle into him and lean closer to kiss up his jaw and down his neck.

“You gonna start something you won’t finish?” Levi asks dryly, voice cutting through the thick air. His hands are loose around your waist and you push yourself closer to him, to get him to touch you  _ more, more, more. _

He receives a playful shove to his shoulder in return. While you knew normally your friends wouldn’t care if you were a little late just because you were getting dicked down before a night out. But tonight is different- a friend of yours had just broken up with her long-term significant other.

You understand the need to unwind and let loose, having been through the same thing yourself with your ex.

Levi is nothing if not punctual, too.

“C’mon,” Levi says, patting your head fondly, “Your friends are waiting. And they’ll blame me if you’re late.”

“No, they won’t. They’ll know it was because of me.”

“Because you can’t keep your hands off of me.”

“Exactly.”

***

Levi presses a kiss to your lips as you leave the car and blow a kiss to him, excitement coursing through your veins at the prospect of a fun night out with your girlfriends. 

He doesn’t let you leave before telling you to keep your eyes open and be smart. It’s his way of telling you and your friends to be safe, and to call him if anything happens.

“I hope you don’t sprain your ankle in those boots.”

“It was  _ one time _ !” You roll your eyes but press a kiss to his jaw anyway.

Levi drives away when you text him letting him know that you’ve gotten inside your friend’s apartment. He’s looking forward to his night of catching up with his television shows, the ones that you don’t particularly enjoy, with a cup of chamomile tea.

You send him a few selfies of yourself with your friends and as the night progresses, he can see drunkenness dotting the edges of your dark eyes. Once the steady stream of selfies stops, he knows you’re probably dancing or drinking. Or both.

If he’s being honest, Levi spent quite a lot of time in the beginning wondering how you two were so compatible. You were  _ almost _ opposite to him- sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, sometimes affectionate, sometimes needing space, you enjoyed spontaneity where he enjoyed stability. 

You were every color of the palette, vibrant and unabashedly so, while he was just…  _ grey.  _ Plain, boring, unassuming  _ grey _ . 

He remembers the first time he had voiced the perceived differences out loud, as if it was a cold, hard fact and it wasn’t bothering him and splintering his mind. You had immediately countered him, telling him that just because you both were  _ different _ didn’t mean that he didn’t belong with you. You knew it wouldn’t be the first time it came up, but you were ready for it when it did.

Since then, some of your colors have brushed over him, hues of pinks, yellows, purples painted over him in uneven stripes with the passage of time. He hadn’t even realized it. He’s mellowed you out and you’ve made him vibrant, in his own way. But you’re still distinctly you, and Levi is still distinctly him. 

That’s what a long term relationship is, he supposes. Give and take.

Levi is sprawled out on the couch under his favorite fuzzy blanket and he’s propped up on the throw pillow so his back doesn’t hurt in the morning. You’ve scoffed at him and called him an old man, while simultaneously doing the same so  _ your _ back doesn’t hurt later in the day as well.

He reminds you every time you call him an old man that you’re older than him. And of course, you protest that you’re only older than him by a few months. And he responds with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.

Levi tugs the sleeves of your purple hoodie around his wrists and presses his feet into the blanket. Your muted, woodsy scent hidden in the threads of your hoodie curls around him as if it’s you. He runs warm generally, but he’s not above admitting that he enjoys being cozy.

The clean scent of the freshly lit candle on the coffee table wraps around him, and with the low sounds of the television, your warm embrace in the form of your hoodie- he can’t help but close his eyes. Just for a second..

***

If there’s anything you’re good at, it’s playing wingwoman for your friends. As the only woman in a long term relationship out of your few friends outside of work, you had taken it upon yourself to play matchmaker where you could. Especially tonight, for your friend who had just gotten dumped.

Levi always rolled his eyes at you, telling you to mind your own business. But you knew he didn’t mean it, especially if it was just harmless hook ups. After all, you remember how your friends had rallied around you after your own terrible break-up. It feels like a far away memory now. Almost like a movie replaying in the back of your eyelids.

If you could share the experience of love with your dear friends, it was worth it. Even for just a night.

You’ve successfully seen her off with a man in the club, probably sucking face while shrouded in darkness. Your other friends circle you at the bar and you eagerly order a round of drinks and shots. And then another.

A night out was always a fun time with you and your close friends. These nights became rarer the older you got, what with more responsibilities and conflicting schedules. Dayo, Luna and Nari were your friends from college. Some of the few that you had kept in contact with all these years after graduation.

Nari’s the one currently sucking face with a perceived stranger, while Dayo and Luna flank either side of you at the bar.

“Cheers,” You shout over the music, “To my bitches, to love, and to money!”

The three of you link arms to take your shots before washing it down with a drink. Luna leads the way to the dancefloor and you can’t help but keep a wary eye out for any unwelcome attention.

You’re glad that the night is devoid of that type of attention. It’s just a night of bright lights, smoke, booze, and your friends. Some of your favorite kinds of nights.

The three of you are dancing and singing along to the music with bright smiles. It feels like it’s just the three of you in the entire club. You’re certain your limbs and your throat will be sore the next morning, from how low the three of you are getting-

Your thirties are no joke, or so they say.

You love the way the music pumps through your blood, dancing with the sweet sting of alcohol as it makes its way through your veins.  You don’t know what time it is when Nari finally sends you a text saying that she’s going to go home with the guy she was hooking up with- you only tell her to be safe. He’s a mutual friend of Luna’s, and she can vouch for him. She hugs you goodbye eagerly.

That leaves only you, Dayo and Luna to dance and drink the night away. And so you do, way past the point of your feet beginning to ache and past the point of feeling dazed from the alcohol. 

Luna stifles a yawn behind her hand but you catch it.

“You guys wanna go home?” You ask, nearly shouting above the music.

“I mean… if y’wanna,” Luna shrugs with a drunken smile.

You’re already texting Levi, asking if he’d pick you guys up. He replies even before you type out a third text, telling you that he’s on his way to the club and you send him a kissy face emoji.

A stream of butterflies erupts in your belly at the thought of seeing your man.

***

Levi shoots you a glare as he unlocks the car doors for you and your friends to get in. Normally, he’d at least pull over to make sure that the three of you are safely inside and not inclined to throw up in his car. But he’s in the middle of a busy street and cars are already honking at him.

He hates it, but it washes away once you clumsily slink into the passenger seat and press a quick kiss of greeting to his jaw. 

“Where’s Nari?” Levi asks once he makes a right at the light to get out of the city.

“Had an impromptu dick appointment,” Luna laughs behind her hand and Levi hears you and Dayo chuckle with her.

“Not with her asshole ex?” Levi says mildly.

“No way, whaddaya take us for, Levi?” Dayo says airily.

Levi’s lips quirk up at that but he remains quiet. You’re dreamily staring at your boyfriend, with one hand on the steering wheel and the other in his lap. You struggle to stifle your gasp when you realize he’s wearing your hoodie.

It gives you butterflies. Again.

***

“Drink some water,” Levi murmurs softly but firmly. 

He tips the glass to your lips and you chug half of it easily. A lazy grin spreads across your face before you head into your bedroom and change out of your clothes.

Levi catches your jeans before they hit the floor in your haste to put on comfortable clothes.

“Levi,” You complain, “Help me, Levi. Stop _ just _ standin’ there.”

“Go take a shower,” Levi says flatly, “You smell like alcohol and smoke. ‘M not sleepin’ with you if that’s how you’re coming to bed.”

“ _ Levi!  _ ‘M tired. And drunk,” You mumble but you take your towel with you to the bathroom.

You know he’s not kidding when he says he won’t sleep with you if you smell like a bar.

“Don’t I know it,” Levi mutters.

It’s a quick shower, despite you dropping the bottle of Levi’s body wash three times. You don’t think you have the coordination or energy to wash your hair, so Levi can just deal with it.

You stumble a bit even after you get out of the shower, moisturize and change into a long sleeved shirt and shorts. Trying carefully to not knock anything over, you’re nearly successful until you end up in a twist of your limbs on the floor somehow. With a sigh, you lift yourself up from the floor, your legs feeling like cement blocks.

Levi pokes his head through the doorway but you wave him off.

By the time you venture out into the living room, Levi already has water and food ready for you. Your heart flutters at the gesture.

“I showered,” You mumble, sinking into the couch and into his embrace.

“I can tell,” Levi hums and tips the glass of water to your lips for you to drink.

“I’m clean. So y’can kiss me now,” You inform him, peering up at him with wide, drunk eyes.

“Woulda kissed you anyways,” Levi says and gestures for you to finish your glass of water. You quickly finish it without breaking eye contact with him and he wonders if you’re trying to be sexy for him. But instead, you just look sleepy.

You accidentally knock into his nose when you try to press a kiss to his lips and he lets out a breathy chuckle in response.

“Let’s go to bed. Think it’s past your bedtime,” Levi says, kissing the crown of your head.

Instead, you curl a hand into the collar of his shirt and push your lips to his, swallowing his soft noise of surprise. Your fingers move like honey through his dark hair, dipping into his hair and scratching his undercut. Levi doesn’t hide his noise of approval as he exhales into your mouth. He makes you dizzy with his musk, your belly flipping when he cups your neck. You raise your leg and slide into his lap enthusiastically, nearly knocking your head into his nose. But you pay no mind to it, only leaning into Levi’s touch as he pats your head.

You pull away just for a fraction of a second for a breath before dropping kisses and sucking on the supple skin of his jaw-his chin- his neck. A hand snakes back into his hair as you push into him, hip to hip and chest to chest. Your hips roll into his clumsily, but you gain your rhythm and enjoy the way he rolls his hips in response. You pull his hair slightly, tightening your grip when his eyes pop open. You yank his hair back, exposing the column of his pretty throat to you and relishing in his soft groan and the growing hardness against your inner thigh.

Levi catches the gleam in your dark eyes before you bite and soothe a spot below his ear, then down his neck and over his collarbones. You shiver as his hands squeeze your thighs, his fingers trailing upwards to disappear under your shorts and indent the flesh of your hips. His touches sent a pleasant buzz through you, sweet and sultry in all the ways that the alcohol coursing through your veins isn’t.

You tug his shirt over his head, barely even noticing that he had changed out of your hoodie and into a sleep shirt. Hunger curls in your belly at the sight of his bare chest, of the smooth and scarred planes of his chest that you call home, of the smattering of hair leading from his navel into his shorts.

Levi tosses his head back as you sloppily kiss your way down his neck, down his chest, fingers raking over his abdomen. You slide out of his lap and onto the floor, hands blazing over his thighs and squeezing. He almost chokes when he sees your wide eyes and the small gathering of drool at the corner of your mouth. You lick your lips eagerly, and without warning, you palm his hardness. Levi hisses at your sudden movement but you only look at him sheepishly.

“Wanna put y’to bed, baby,” You mumble hoarsely and Levi swallows at the look of earnest shining in your eyes, “Wanna put y’to bed s’ _ good _ , baby…”

Levi  _ does _ choke as he gasps, after you pull his shorts off and do that _ thing _ with your mouth that he likes. Spit coats your lips and his cock as he thrusts into your pretty mouth. The sounds you pull from him shoot straight down to your core, and you know you’re already slick. Somehow, despite your still slightly drunken haze, your movements are somewhat coordinated as you hollow out your cheeks to take all of him in your mouth in stripes and licks. He likes it a little sloppy, a little messy when your tongue darts out and slicks his cock with your spit. Words die in his throat when you choke as you try to take all of him in your mouth and when you peer up at him with teary but determined eyes. A string of spit follows your wrecked lips when you pull away with a soft pop. Your lips are bitten, stained with his cum as it dribbles down your chin. 

You lick your lips slowly, the dangerous but lazy smile never leaving your face.

“Whattsa matter, baby? Cat got your tongue?” You grin and lewdly wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

Levi tugs your hand and lifts you into his lap, wordlessly giving you a deep kiss. His arms are tight around your waist, and you are unabashed in your desire for him as you stutter your hips into his.

He pulls away and stares at you intensely, in that way that nearly sobers you up instantly. His mouth is on your neck and his hands peel you out of your shorts quickly. Levi touches you everywhere, except for where you need him most.

“Levi,” You complain breathily, “Stop teasin’ me-”

He pushes you so that you’re laying down on the sofa and it takes you a few seconds to react. You part your legs for him instantly and buck your hips in the air for his attention. Levi slides a hand over your bare thighs before dotting your inner thighs with barely there kisses. Your hands slide through his hair once more and tug gently. Levi moans against your slick and the sound sends yet another stab of arousal through you.

“Cat got your tongue?” Levi mimics you with a raise of his eyebrow at your silence, only your soft moans fill the air.

Instead of replying, you push his head closer to your glistening arousal and groan when you feel the warmth of his tongue on your heated skin.

***

You’re dozing off against Levi’s shoulder, warmth spreading through your limbs and settling in your bones. Levi’s voice is quiet in your ear and you hum, barely registering his words.

“C’mon, angel. Let’s go to bed,” Levi says and nudges your jaw with his nose.

“Alright,  _ grandpa _ ,” You mutter, but you get up from the couch anyway after eating the food Levi had set out for you. Levi puts your plate and glass in the sink and double checks the locks before climbing into bed next to you. You’re eagerly waiting, the sheets drawn back and his usual spot ready.

Levi quickly washes his face and moisturizes before settling in bed. You instantly curl up against him, melding into his side as if it was reflex. Which it was.

“Did you have fun tonight?” Levi asks easily, wrapping an arm around your waist and peering at you.

Your ear is pressed against his neck and his voice rumbles through his chest, vibrating against your skin. You hum in response, sneaking a hand under his shirt and rubbing his chest.

“Girls night was a lot of fun,” You murmur, turning your head upwards to press a featherlight kiss to his neck. 

“‘M glad,” Levi says, “Nari needed it. She was a mess the last time we saw her.”

“I know,” You sigh, “She needs time. She’ll be okay.”

Levi squeezes your waist and you move your hand away to curl it around his face. Your breaths are soft against his face, fondness in the center of your still slightly blown out pupils. Arms wrap around his neck until you’re half on top of him and your lips are melted to his. Levi feels the gentle rise and fall of your chest against his as you tilt your head and deepen the kiss. You taste mostly like the mouthwash that sits on your sink, but Levi tastes undercurrents of tequila on your tongue, too.

Your leg wraps around his waist and your eyelids flutter with the sudden warmth he’s radiating. Being close to him this late at night always pushes you to sleep, especially with the addition of alcohol.

But still, you try to keep your eyes open. To catch a glimpse of your angel with silver eyes, so that he’s the last thing you see before you fall asleep.

You’re too lazy to even pull your lips properly away, instead hoarsely whispering a soft ‘love you’ into his mouth. Your eyes close as he kisses your forehead and tightens his hold around you.

_ “Good night, angel.” _

******

You and Levi seem to be  _ just _ missing each other. You’ve been away at client meetings during the day, so you haven’t had the chance to see him much. Your last client meeting was close to home, so you just took the bus to get home. Levi had stayed a little late at work and decided to have some tea with Mikasa and Eren.

He had scoffed when you had told him that he’d make a good mentor to them. And yet, here he was.

And  _ then _ he had been roped into a night out with Mike and Erwin. Something about Mike wanting to celebrate his anniversary with Nanaba. To which Levi had replied,  _ “shouldn’t you be celebrating with her?” _

And Mike’s response was,  _ “We already celebrated. Besides, think of it as practice for the wedding.” _

And now, Levi was driving home to get changed for a night out that he was growing less and less averse to. It’s been a while, he muses. Since he had a night out with just the  _ boys _ .

How does the saying go? Saturdays are for the boys?

You’d tease him for it.

Levi comes home to find you freshly showered after a workout and lounging on the couch with a glass of red wine in bike shorts and a muscle tank.

You peek up from the couch, setting your nearly untouched wine glass on the table to greet him eagerly.

“Hey,” You murmur, wrapping your arms around him instantly and kissing him quickly.

He can taste the Shiraz on your tongue and it’s sweet and oaky at the same time.

“Hey yourself,” Levi greets you and pulls away to toe his shoes off and set his backpack by the wall.

“I heard you’re having a boys night tonight,” You say and follow him to the bedroom, where he starts undressing himself for a quick shower.

“Mike wants to celebrate his anniversary,” Levi rolls his eyes, “I think he just wants a reason to get shitfaced. According to him, it’s practice for the wedding.”

“That’s as good a reason as any,” You grin and rub his bare back.

“He should be celebrating with Nanaba,” Levi says under his breath.

“So I shouldn’t plan a girls night for our next anniversary to celebrate?” You tease him and he looks at you, scandalized. 

“If I ever tell you that I want a  _ boys _ night for our anniversary, you can leave me,” Levi confirms, but you hear the airy amusement in his voice.

“Oh, stop,” You laugh, swatting his shoulder, “Their anniversary was days ago and they celebrated, trust me.”

You wink at him and he rolls his eyes. He’s certain the details of their anniversary celebration are located in the groupchat with Nanaba and Hange. Details that he doesn’t need or want to know.

“Besides, I think it’s sweet. Our friends want to share and celebrate love with us,” You say dreamily.

“You’re corny,” Levi says and pats your head, “Now move aside. I’m gonna shower, and  _ no _ , we’re not taking a shower together.”

You gasp in offense, “And why  _ not? _ ”

“I’m on a time crunch and us showering together is a waste of water.  _ And _ , you just showered.”

“I can keep my hands to myself, Levi, thank you very much.”

“No, you can’t,” Levi scoffs and is about to shut the door to the bathroom in your face.

“Fine, I wanna have sex,” You wine, holding the door open with your hand and letting out a tipsy giggle when he rolls his eyes, “ _ Excuse me _ , for wanting to have sex with my incredibly hot boyfriend with his big hands and his big-”

This time, Levi does slam the door in your face and he hears you loudly cackling back into the living room. 

***

Levi, as punctual as ever, has a little less than an hour to spare before heading to Mike’s apartment to meet up with him and Erwin.

“You look hot,” You inform him, hands fixing his collar as he smoothes hair product into his still damp strands. The buttons of his shirt are still undone, exposing his undershirt and giving you plenty of access to run your hands over his chest.

A noise of acknowledgement escapes his lips in response. He’s wearing a black button up tucked into his slacks, the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, with black slacks that sit  _ just _ right on his thighs and his ass. They’re your favorite pants on him, and he knows it. A tan belt circles his waist, highlighting just enough for you to want more of him.

“Wanna have a drink with me before you leave? It’s the least you could do, since you denied me shower sex,” You murmur playfully in his ear as he does the buttons up of his shirt.

“Like I’d ever say no to having a drink with you.”

“Saying no to me is like second nature to you. Please refer to about twenty minutes ago-”

“Alright,  _ princess _ . You’re right, I’m wrong,” Levi rolls his eyes, “Help me put this on.”

It’s a necklace- specifically, it’s one of  _ your _ necklaces that he’s decided is now his. It’s a gold chain with a lilac pendant encased around a ring of gold.

You lick your lips and swallow to wet your suddenly dry throat. You step behind him, taking your time with clasping the necklace and turning it so that the pendant is facing forward. It’s almost hidden by the highest button of his shirt, but you catch the glint of it with the light. A soft caress of your fingertips over the back of your neck is replaced by your lips. But just for a second.

Levi meets your eyes in the mirror before turning around to face you. You unbutton the top two buttons of his shirt, to allow for his skin to breathe. And also for your own self-serving interests. A hand curls your cheek and Levi runs a thumb over your bottom lip, a featherlight touch, before leaning forward to melt his lips to yours.

He tightens his group around your waist and dips you slightly, to your surprise. The scent of his cologne, woody and musky, cocoons you as you smile into his kiss. Your hand is warm against his neck, your other hand lazily scratching his chest. You deepen his kiss eagerly, arms shifting to lock behind his head as you tilt your chin, barely breaking for a breath.

“Come, I’ll make us drinks,” Levi says, patting your ass fondly.

And truly, what is better than your man making you a drink of his own choosing?

You stand close to him, chin on his shoulder and catching welcome whiffs of his cologne.

“Cheers,” Levi says, handing you your glass and clinking his with yours.

“Cheers, honey,” You murmur and take a long sip of your drink.

He knows his way around your palate, but each time he makes you something, you’re impressed.

You kiss his cheek in gratitude and he gestures for you to join him on the couch.

Convincing Levi that you would both be careful enough to not spill on the pristine couch had taken a while. Of course, you were clumsy and there had been a few incidents where you had spilled wine on the couch. 

You had been subjected to Levi’s quiet irritation each time, and it wasn’t a fun feeling.

“Bring coasters,” Levi calls from the couch, with your drinks in his hands. 

“Yes, your majesty,” You roll your eyes but comply, setting two matching coasters on the coffee table. 

Levi is about halfway done with his drink by the time you join him and you pout at him playfully.

“First, you ignore me all day. Then, you don’t let me spend time with you in the shower. And now you won’t even share your drink with me,” You say, counting your fingers, “three strikes, baby-“

Levi sets his drink on the coaster and pushes you so that your back is against the sofa.

“Oh. What a precarious position you have me in,” You say dryly.

“I’ll show you three strikes, baby,” Levi murmurs into your neck, biting you.

“What, you gonna make me cum three times before you leave? You only have thirty minutes,” You taunt him with a smirk.

“You challenging me or something’?” 

“Not much of a challenge if you can’t do it-“

“You and I both know that that’s a lie and that you’ve been horny as shit since this morning-“

“Because you always leave me high and dry!”

“Oh, do I?” Levi asks cockily with a raise of his eyebrow.

“No,” You sigh in defeat and buck your hips towards him. 

“Or… you can wait till I get home. Don’t want your liquids on my clothes.”

“My  _ what _ ? God, Levi, you make everything sound so romantic,” You roll your eyes, “Fuckin’ tease.”

“Fine, I don’t want your  _ cum _ on my  _ clothes _ ,” Levi says bluntly, “how’s that for romance?”

“What happened to ‘happy wife, happy life’,” You mutter.

“Not applicable, where’s the ring on your finger?” Levi lifts himself off of you, pressing a kiss to your lips and pulls you into his side. You instantly curl into him and take a few sips of your drink.

“I don’t know, been wondering that myself,” You nudge him and shove your right hand in his face.

Levi instantly stiffens next to you and you notice immediately.

“Have you? Have you been wondering?” His voice is soft, a far cry from the teasing only a few minutes ago.

“What? No, Levi, I’m just messing with you,” You reassure him, “I’m happy like this, baby. Are you?” 

“Yes, but-“

“If I want more, I’ll tell you what I’m thinking. I told you I would. No guessing games, baby,” You murmur and kiss his jaw. He relaxes with your slight touches and downs the rest of his drink.

You take his hand in yours and squeeze. Levi presses his nose into your neck and tilts his head, his lips brushing against your skin. 

“Do you want me to pick you up? From the bar?” You inquire softly, reaching around to scratch the back of his neck.

“No, it’ll be late. I’ll figure it out with Erwin and Mike.”

“You sure, baby? I don’t mind-“

“I’m sure. It’s fine,” Levi murmurs, “It’s fine, angel.”

Your face heats up and Levi’s lips upturn slightly.

“You’re tired,” Levi says, gripping your chin and peering into your dark eyes.

“Wake me up when you come home, then,” You reply, rubbing his arm, “Let me at least drop you off, then.”

“We’ll leave in twenty?” Levi asks and you nod, “Enough time for me to make you cum at least twice.”

Your heart flutters at that and he pushes you back on the couch, sliding up your torso to capture your lips in a heated kiss.

“You’ve been needy,” Levi murmurs, “Been waiting for me, haven’t you?”

You swallow and nod eagerly. 

“Good girl,” Levi says throatily, fingers skimming your sides as he pulls your tank off and rolls his hips into yours. A hand presses over your clothed center and you groan at the friction. 

It’s been a few days. You’re sensitive.

He already knew you weren’t wearing a bra, from the way your chest had brushed against him countless times earlier. You hardly ever do, when you’re just at home with him. Levi’s mouth is already on your neck, sucking spots down your chest slowly. His mouth is warm and wet- you can’t help but wrap your legs around his waist to keep him there.

Soft calls of his name pour from your lips. His ears are ringing with the honey of your raspy voice and he makes it a mission to pull more of your breathy sounds from your throat.

“You gonna let me make you feel good?” Levi murmurs, squeezing your hips. The sound of his voice reverberates through your blood and you shudder.

He waits for your nod before peeling your shorts off of you and pressing his mouth to your hips reverently.

“Levi,” You breathe, “No teasing.”

With that, he stops talking.

***

“Have fun tonight,” You reply as you pull up to Mike’s apartment building and unlock his side of the door, “Call me if you need anything, honey.”

You lean over to peck his lips quickly.

“I will,” Levi promises and dips his head for a longer, sweet kiss. 

Before you can convince him to take him back home, he leaves the car and casts one fleeting look at you before heading up to the building. You wait for his text, stating that he’s inside Mike’s apartment, before driving away.

It’s just you, your bed, and your book tonight.

***

Levi prefers to be at places like this with you, if he has to be there at all. He can appreciate a good boy’s night, but tonight, he mostly just misses you.

You had been away for the last few days, coming home late and going to bed immediately. And before that, it had been him who was away for a few days. You both had been trying to play catch up with each other, but it hadn’t been enough. Not yet.

Levi absently listens to Mike talk about Nanaba, and is hit with a sudden longing for you. Maybe it’s the alcohol- but he thinks not. He’s only had two drinks so far, and is currently nursing the second one. He starts to impatiently bounce his leg, warily checking the time on his phone.

It’s about thirty minutes later, when Levi is hardly listening to Erwin and Mike, that Erwin just sighs at Levi.

“You’re here, but you’re not  _ here _ ,” Erwin says with a roll of his eyes.

“Yeah. You know what, ‘m gonna leave. I miss my girl,” Levi says bluntly and quickly finishes his drink.

“I can respect that,” Mike nods and clasps Levi’s shoulder.

Levi leaves the bar after that, hailing a cab in record time. He wonders if you’ll be surprised when you see him. The thought brings heat to his cheeks.

He must be drunk. Or at least tipsy.

***

You’re curled on the couch with a blanket over your legs, feet perched on the ottoman with a half finished glass of wine on the coffee table. You have your glasses on and you’re reading a book, one that you had started months ago but had never gotten around to finishing. A candle of your favorite, semi-sweet scent is lit and it wafts through your apartment. The record player is playing soft tunes as you read- you’ve always hated the sound of a completely silent room.

The sound of the front door opening nearly misses your ears but you hear the soft click as it closes. Levi pushes his shoes off impatiently and you catch a glimpse of his pink cheeks.

“Hi,” You say, waving at him from the couch, “You’re home early.”

“Yes,” Levi says simply. 

“It’s not even midnight yet,” You press, opening your arms for him to slide into. 

He looks like he considers it for a second, but then turns away to wash up and change into comfortable clothes. If there’s anything to say about Levi, it’s that he hates being in ‘outside clothes’ when he’s at home. 

You feel the same way. Maybe that’s why you both fit so well together.

You make your way over to the bedroom to wait for Levi to emerge from the bathroom. He’s freshly showered and the pink tint on his cheeks hasn’t gone away fully. 

“It’s fuckin’ hot,” Levi says flatly, deciding to omit a shirt. 

“Think it’s just you, honey,” You murmur, flipping the page of your book. 

You feel the bed dip with his weight as he lays in his spot. You pay him no mind, wanting to see how far he’ll go for your attention. 

You knew why he came home early. Because he missed you, and because he  _ missed _ you. Levi had even texted you when he was out, a simple black heart. But still, he doesn’t do that often.

He lays next to you, nearly brushing your shoulder. He’s not close enough to see what you’re reading and he’s not close enough to realize that you’ve been reading the same sentence for the last few minutes.

Levi shifts a few inches closer to you subtly. Close enough that he can brush your bare calf with his foot. You barely react, holding in the laugh that you want to let out.

You can sense his frustration beginning to build. But still, he says nothing. He leans his head against your shoulder and your free hand immediately cards through his damp strands. You start and stop playing with his hair randomly, teasing him, and his frustration rears its head again.

Apparently, he’s had enough, because he takes the book straight from your hands and tosses it to the other end of the bed.

“I was reading that,” You protest, but can’t help a smile from forming on your face.

“No, you weren’t,” Levi scoffs.

His attention to detail always amazes you.

“Yeah, you’re right,” You admit, “Why’d you come home early, huh?”

You tease and playfully shove his shoulder. He avoids answering, choosing instead to roll on top of you and press a kiss to your shoulder. Then your neck. Then your lips.

You prompt him again with a press of your finger to his bare shoulder. He huffs at you, and his ears begin to turn pink as well.

“Rather be with you,” Levi murmurs and you break out into a grin.

“I know,” You whisper, “But our friends like spending time with you, too.”

“We’ve been missing each other for the last two weeks,” Levi exhales, “It felt like too much. Too long.”

“Yeah. I know, honey,” You reply, “Right here is where I wanna be, too.”

Fingers trail the sharp, corded planes of his shoulders before drifting downwards and lingering over his lower back. Your nails are firm but gentle over his skin.

This is his favorite part. Well, one of them.

You crane your neck upwards for a kiss and Levi is all too eager to oblige. His hair tickles your cheeks and you use your free hand to run your hands through it.

“You taste like oranges,” You murmur when you pull away.

“Didn’t wanna taste like bourbon,” Levi shrugs.

“How thoughtful of you-”

He captures your lips again, cutting you off mid-sentence. You cup his face, thumbs running over his cheekbones as you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. Levi kisses you like you’ll disappear, his tongue sliding into your mouth with little resistance.

Levi pulls away first, only looking at you intensely. His steel eyes are darkened by desire, but you see his affection, too. 

“Show me, baby,” You mumble, “Show me how much you missed me-”

And he does.

***

You thought you’d be ready. You thought you could hold it together, at least until the mojitos started flowing. But you couldn’t, not when you saw the look of pure happiness radiating from Nanaba as she entered the backyard, hand in hand with Mike. A sweet sort of romance is in the air, curling around you as your lashes flutter at the sight of the newly engaged couple.

Mike had just proposed to Nanaba and  _ of course _ , she had said yes. 

You had helped lead the charge for decorating his backyard with some of her friends. Fairy lights were strewn around the deck, a small backdrop with an array of flowers lacing up and over it to take pictures in front of, and tents with tables for people to sit in. Buckets of ice with bottles of champagne are on one of the wooden tables, with frames of photos of Mike and Nanaba.

It’s everything Nanaba wanted, and you can tell from the expression of awe in her eyes. 

You force yourself to hold it together for a little longer. But Mike gives a speech, it’s short and sweet and a succinct proclamation of his love for Nanaba and for his friends.

Levi tugs your hand in his and squeezes. He can tell you’re about to cry, your bottom lip trembling as you try to suppress the urge. You bite down on your lip but your dark eyes still water.

You are just so happy for your friends. You’re in love with love. In this moment, everything feels weightless and you feel like infinity.

“Your mascara will run,” Levi says softly, pulling you towards the back of the crowd and into his side.

You let out a watery laugh and furiously wipe at your eyes. But Levi pushes your fingers away, dabbing under your eyes gently with his thumb.

Seeing other people in love makes you feel incredible. Because you’re reminded of Levi every time. You’re reminded of the man you love, the man that you were meant to be with.

“I love you,” You say helplessly, hopelessly, “So much. I love you.”

“I love you,” Levi says, the tips of his ears reddening. 

You peck him lightly, the faint taste of mint lingering on your lips. Levi rubs your back and walks you both to the happy couple to congratulate them.

You can’t help the bright smile or the fresh tears in your eyes, dotting them like the stars that hang above you.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. steady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "sleep, my love. i’ll keep the nightmares away."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a prompt request drabble

The hum from the television is low as Levi sleeps, his head resting on your belly and your fingers carding through his soft locks. His features are relaxed, tension gone from his eyebrows and hand pressed against your thigh. With the backdrop of the setting sun filtering in through the windows of your apartment and the gentle warm that the cup of tea in your hands provides, you really don’t think there’s a better place to be.

You pull up the blanket further down Levi’s legs when you see his toes peeking out. He doesn’t even stir, only relaxing further in your hold. 

You barely move an inch for a few minutes, only watching television and playing with his hair. Suddenly, there’s a shift in the pattern of his breaths. It’s gradual, but enough to have you looking down at him in concern. Levi’s eyebrows scrunch together in distress, his grip tightening on your shirt in his sleep. 

Rubbing your fingers languidly over his forehead to ease him, somehow trying to push your way into his dreams to reassure him, you murmur to him that he’s safe. He can’t seem to hear you in his sleep, only groaning lowly.

“ _No!_ _No, mama!_ ” 

You freeze, your hand almost comically in the air. It’s been a long time since Levi has had a nightmare about his mother. About the fateful day that he found her dead in her bed all those years ago. Even if so much time has gone, it’s a memory that is forever burned in his mind. He’ll never forget her dead eyes, her gaunt face… None of it. 

Sometimes he dreams that it’s you rather than his mother. He doesn’t know what’s worse- the memory of his dead mother, or the fallacy that his mind has created of a dead  _ you _ .

Levi mutters in his sleep, tossing and turning in your arms. You try to soothe him, holding him tight against your chest and pressing your lips to the back of his neck. Your legs wrap around his, locking him in place against you. When he finally does wake up, he’ll wake up with you surrounding him.

Levi gasps abruptly, the sound piercing the silence of the room. You let go of him when his eyes spring open, wild tendrils of terror lighting up his steely irises. 

“Honey?” You murmur softly, tentatively touching his shoulder. Levi sighs, rubbing his hand over his face tiredly. He settles back on top of you, head buried in your chest. Rubbing his back gently, you let your fingers drift under his shirt to press into the corded muscle of his shoulders.

You kiss his forehead, a reminder that he’s here with you and that you’re safe. That you’re  _ both _ safe.  **“Sleep, my love. I’ll keep the nightmares away.”**


	7. dubious hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another prompt request: the prompt is "I don’t need grand gestures or declarations of love. I just… need you. All of you"

When Levi first met you, all of those years ago, he didn’t expect for you to become  _ as _ ingrained in his life as you currently were. Of course, he expected it to some degree- after all, you worked in the same small non-profit and his friends and colleagues were now yours.  _ However _ , the lines of professionalism and friendship became blurred. And then by the time it was your fifth anniversary of the company, you and Levi were finally dating. As your colleagues always said- it was about damn time. It’s been around six or seven months since you first started dating officially.

And yet. Levi is well aware of how different you and him are. He recalls your previous girlfriend from about two years ago- he recalls some of the romantic gestures she had done for you. Sometimes she’d swoop in right before lunch and take you out on a spontaneous date. Sometimes she’d stop by with a large, rather obnoxious bouquet of flowers. Just because you liked them. Your wrists and your neck  _ always _ had some form of gold dripping across your brown skin. 

He had been so  _ sure _ that most of those gifts were simply not you. He had been certain that you weren’t the type of person who liked being bought like that, with material gifts of grandeur. Levi also recalls overhearing a small argument between you and your now ex-girlfriend, about how you didn’t want all of the material possessions. He had been so  _ sure _ that you didn’t need any of that.

And yet. He sees you ogling a pretty necklace while you’re walking down the street after dinner. And then, you  _ gush _ over the grand way that Mike had  _ finally, finally _ asked Nanaba out to dinner after years of pining. He had cooked her favorite meal and created a path of rose petals leading from his entryway to the kitchen for her to follow. And  _ then _ , you’re so excited over Nanaba and Mike’s anniversary trip to the other side of the Wall. It’s a couple’s retreat, complete with all of the things that makes Levi’s nose wrinkle in irritation. Four months? Really? 

How were you and him even  _ together _ , if you liked all of the things that he didn’t? Levi thought he had a good read on you, a  _ great _ read, in fact. It seems like you’re both on different pages. Do you want something else from him? Something he doesn’t know how to give you?

Levi is not a romantic. He never has been- he’s never been one to show grand displays of affection or grand displays of romance like that. But you knew that, you had to know that. Right?

You were swirls of pink, red, and purple. He was just grey. These thoughts swirl around in his mind incessantly for the next few days, and you notice. But you say nothing, not wanting to push him before he’s ready. You don’t want to prod and annoy him.

You’re still navigating your label of  _ girlfriend _ to his  _ boyfriend. _ But really, he just feels like your best friend that you get to make out with whenever you want. You hang on to that as you find it in yourself to ask him what’s wrong. You’ve noticed him pulling away from you subtly- his eyes don’t quite meet yours with any of its former fondness and his touches, even when you’re alone, are minimal.

It makes you uncharacteristically sad. His touches are your favorite thing in the world, and you can’t seem to understand why he’s pulling away from you. Is he losing interest in you? You wouldn’t blame him. Maybe the honeymoon period of your relationship has ended and he’s realized-

_ No. _ You won’t go down that path again. Not with Levi, not with anyone. 

With that, you’re determined to figure out what is going on with your boyfriend before you lose him completely.

***

It turns out, you don’t need to poke and prod him to tell you what’s wrong. Levi has always been a straightforward, blunt person, which you’ve always appreciated. 

You’re at your apartment, curled into him on your faded pink couch. A blanket covers both of you as you both chat about your days and about your plans for the upcoming weekend. But even as you talk, his touches are barely there and minimal. Levi’s grey eyes are guarded and his jaw tight.

“Why are we together?” Levi asks bluntly, suddenly and you’re immediately alert. You pull away from him abruptly, confusion splitting your irises apart.

“What?” 

“I’m not a romantic,” Levi says, eyes narrow and nearly crushing you, “I’m not like- I don’t like all that stuff  _ you _ like.”

“All  _ what  _ stuff?” You ask, genuinely wondering where this was coming from. This is why he’s been pulling away from you the last few days. You slide your hand into his and squeeze.

“The way you react when people at work tell you about how they share their feelings in  _ that  _ way- with petals on the floor, making food into the heart shapes- I mean who does that, just eat it-” Levi says, nearly faltering when your lips begin to turn downwards into a frown, “You  _ like _ that. And I don’t. I’m not like that.”

_ I can't be the guy you want me to be.  _ You hear it, you can read in between the lines, even if he doesn’t say it.

Dark eyes are wide and unmoving as you stare at him, trying to understand him. You’re silent for a few seconds and it starts to unnerve Levi. Finally, your lips pull apart and he feels as if the sun has parted storm clouds in the sky.

“Come with me,” You mumble, taking his hand and tugging. He quirks up an eyebrow but says nothing, only following you to your bedroom. “Take a shower with me?”

“ _ What? _ I just told you that  _ maybe  _ we’re not compatible and you want to shower with me?” Levi asks incredulously. 

“Yeah. If you’re gonna break up with me, let me at least see your hot bod one last time,” You say dryly, “Please? Just shower with me, baby.”

He acquiesces, because that’s what he does. When it comes to you.

***

The hot spray of the water feels nice against his skin, even if you’re both cramped in your shower. Your bathroom is much smaller than Levi’s and it’s a tight fit to have both of you under the spray together. But you need him to understand something. 

You stay silent for the most part, lathering your body wash over his skin and rubbing gently over his muscles. Pressing kisses randomly- over his shoulders, his clavicle, his chin, his navel. 

“I can’t believe I made you feel like what you do for me isn’t enough for me,” You mumble, a tinge of sadness in your voice. 

Alarm bells go off in his head.

“What? No, I see what you want. And that’s not me,” Levi protests and you dig your nails into your upper arm.

“What I want? What do you know about what I want?” You murmur, sadness gone and replaced with annoyance. 

“All of those  _ grand gestures of love _ ! I see how wishful you look when you hear those stories,” He says, sounding frustrated, “I can’t give that to you! I’m not that guy.”

“I never asked you to be that kind of guy,  _ Levi _ ,” You say, narrowing your eyes at him, “You know me better than that. I know you do. So what is it?”

Levi is quiet for a few moments, gathering his thoughts. Your eyes are wide and watery, a deep frown marring your pretty face. “You’re too good for me,” He finally spits out, the words hanging in the air uncertainly, “And I’m afraid I can’t be what you need. Or want.”

How do you make him understand how much you feel for him?

“This is my favorite part,” You murmur, tugging his hand in yours and massaging his palm with your thumb, “Touching you like this. And when you touch me the same. Nobody’s ever let me touch them like that. Nobody’s ever touched  _ me _ like that. Do you know how I feel when you touch me? I feel like… I can do anything. I feel like I  _ am _ everything. The way I feel when I’m with you… whether we’re alone or with our friends. At home or out… I feel like the center of the universe when I’m with you. I feel like the center of  _ your _ universe. You make me feel so  _ good _ , Levi.

**"** Levi, honey,” You sigh softly, rubbing his chest and pulling him closer to you, “ **I don’t need grand gestures or declarations of love. I just… need you. All of you.** And I have you. And you have me. Everything else is just… extra.

“You’re everything I want, and everything I need. And I’ll spend however long I need to convince you of that.”

Levi’s throat is dry, cheeks flushed (from the heat of the water or from the sudden rush of emotion, he doesn’t know). He cups your neck with a little pressure from his fingertips and yanks you closer to him for a deep kiss. You nearly slip at the sudden movement but his hands are wrapped around you so tightly, that he’s there to hold you steady. Levi deepens the kiss quickly, drowning in your golden light and wanting to have some of it for himself.

He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know that he’s golden, too.

“I just-,” Levi presses his forehead to yours when he pulls away, “Okay. I believe you. I’m not good at this.”

“Me neither,” You murmur, hands in his damp hair, “But we’re good together. So we’ll figure it out, honey.”

“Oh, and who said you’re not a romantic? Just because you don’t like those things, doesn’t mean you’re not a romantic- I mean, you make me tea when I’m stressed or in a bad mood, you always know what to say, you always make sure I’m safe and protected. If that’s not romantic, I dunno what is.”

Levi buries his head in your neck and squeezes your waist to get you to stop talking. His face is warm, his ears hot and you’re giggling at him. His heart lurches at your syrupy words. It’s unfamiliar but he leans into it.

“You’re my prince charming, sweetheart. Get used to it.”   
  
  
  



	8. stolen mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the holiday office party. tis the season.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's fun, flirty and fresh!! and fluffy. enjoy

Self-control has long flown out of the window from the moment Levi donned his dark green blazer in your apartment. His hair falls to his forehead effortlessly, the brilliant shine of the chandeliers bouncing off of his dark hair. A form fitting black turtleneck sits snugly on him, as well as equally form fitting black pants. You’re a goner, really, and  _ then _ he just had to go and apply his red tinted, cherry lip balm. Levi’s lips are so kissable and pouty that you’re nearly buzzing to get your hands on him. 

He’ll ruin you, and you’ll let him.

Levi caught you looking at him like you wanted to devour him, even licking your lips as you checked him out. You’re hardly ever  _ this _ obvious, but you’ve been going head to head with the new recruits on doing shots. So he really can’t be surprised.

It’s a wonder that you don’t seem to pick up on his lingering gazes as the night goes on. You’re wrapped up in your pretty, green velvet dress like a present for his eyes only. You had left the dress as a surprise until earlier this evening. 

Jaw dropping is an understatement. The dress is flirty and tasteful, highlighting all of his favorite features on you- which, really, is  _ everything _ . The material clings to your hips and your chest and you move in it as if it was made for you.

Levi can’t deny that this dress and  _ those _ black heels make your ass look amazing. As he had quietly told you on your way to the hotel for the holiday party. 

The new recruits were in charge of planning the holiday party this year, and they had greeted you with big smiles and elf ear headbands when you had arrived. They had combined the holiday party with members of the Garrison, another non-profit organization that specialized in providing shelter and resources for veterans. 

Levi thinks nothing of Hannes and Connie with their arms around you, instigating you into having more drinks with them-

_ “Bet you can’t do another shot-” _

_ “Says who? Watch me!” _

Levi idly chats with Hange and Erwin, Hange teasing Levi about most likely needing to throw you over his shoulder and take you home by the end of the night, at the pace you’re going at. He thinks it’s entirely possible, shifting his eyes to you fondly. 

You catch his gaze immediately, a bright smile springing on your face. Quietly excusing yourself from the conversation, you maneuver yourself towards Levi, Hange and Erwin with your drink in your hand.

“Hi,” You exclaim, excitement infectious as you give Hange and Erwin yet  _ another _ hug and almost sway on your feet. You stand close to Levi, leaning into him and sipping your drink.

Even with the music playing in the background and filling up the lavish ballroom, even with Hange and Erwin talking to you, you seem to only be able to focus on the warmth Levi radiates. You wordlessly hand your drink to him when you notice that his hands are empty.

“It’s whiskey,” You whisper, “Don’t even like whiskey like that.”

“Why’d you get it then?” Levi whispers back and you only shrug noncommittally.

“Did you both see the photo booth over there, in the corner?” Hange asks, eyeing you both with mischief in her smile, “Isn’t that such a great idea?”

“A photo booth?” You gasp, “No, I didn’t see it…”

Levi glares at Hange, knowing that at some point of the night, you’ll drag him to the photo booth and he’ll (pretend) to hate it.

“You know, I’m honestly surprised they pulled this together,” Erwin muses, “I sprung it on them pretty last minute…”

“Don’t underestimate them, Erwin,” You say, wagging a disapproving finger at him, “They always come through, don’t they?”

“Not  _ always _ ,” Levi says mildly and you roll your eyes. The four of you stand in your circle, eventually being joined by Mike and Nanaba, who wraps an arm around your waist. 

“Wanna go dance?” She asks in your ear and you nod instantly. She’s always been your dance partner at these things. Once the evening has turned into night, the music has ramped up a bit. You think it’s because of Jean’s influence and when you see him coming out of the DJ booth, your suspicions are correct.

Alcohol fuses with the bass of the music in your veins once the dance floor starts to become more crowded and you and Nanaba sing to whatever song is playing on the speakers. The lights dim a bit, enough to cast a shadow on Nanaba’s face in front of you. Her arms wrap around your waist and you grin, moving your hips to the beat of the music. 

Levi watches you from the bar in mild interest, his elbow perched on the bartop. Your smile is bright and free, and he can spot it out even in the crowd of the dance floor. Just as Levi is admiring the way your ass looks in that dress, the song shifts to a slow song. A song meant for couples.

A scoff escapes his lips and he rolls his eyes when he meets Eren’s eyes. They probably did this on purpose, and judging from the gleam in Eren’s bright, green eyes, his suspicions are correct.

Levi is certain that there are only a few couples within the Garrison and the Survey Corps. He’s  _ also _ certain that you’ll give him sad eyes if he doesn’t dance at least two songs with you. 

He finds you parting from Nanaba, about to turn on your heel, surely to find him. 

“Oh!” You gasp in surprise, “You found me.”

“Hard to miss, sweetheart,” Levi says, holding his hand out for you to take. Another beaming smile splits across your face as you step into his hold. “Dance with me?”

“Sure thing, baby,” You wink at him and enjoy the way his hand feels on your lower back. He even dares to hover over your ass, just because he  _ can _ . Almost there, but not quite.

“They did this on purpose,” Levi complains, “Who puts a slow song in the middle of the playlist like that?”

“Sorry it’s so  _ painful _ to dance with me,” You pout, “With your girlfriend of six years!” You’re only teasing, as evidence by the laugh you can’t hold back.

“They’re all staring at us,” Levi says, spinning you in front of him and drawing you back into his arms.

“The only ones obsessed with us as a couple are  _ us _ ,” You roll your eyes, “Nobody’s staring, baby.”

You’re wrong. Connie, Jean, Sasha, Eren, Mikasa and Armin have bets going on whether you’ll kiss him out on the dance floor, or whether he’ll kiss you. Or neither.

“Wanna give them somethin’ to stare about?” Levi drawls, and before you can reply, he dips you. You only grin at him, your arms digging into his arms and he  _ kisses _ you. He kisses you like he needs the air in your lungs. You part your lips in surprise, the sound of delighted cheers around you muted with the press of Levi’s lips against yours.

“Happy almost birthday, baby,” You mumble when you pull away. His cheeks are tinted slightly pink and your face is heated. Levi rolls his eyes when he sees Jean yelling for everyone around him to pay up.

“They have a bet goin’ about us,” You whisper.

“Yeah, Jean just won it,” Levi says, “Of all people, it had to be  _ Jean. _ ”

You only swat his chest in response. 

***

“I can’t find m’purse,” You gasp, patting up and down your torso, as if your purse is hidden there. Levi detects the slight hint of mischief in the glossy slick of your dark eyes. But he says nothing, only indulging you.

“Where was it last?” Jean asks, craning his neck to look at the tables in his periphery.

“If she knew, she wouldn’t ask,” Levi scoffs. You suppress a laugh and smack Levi’s chest, telling him to be nice.

“Let’s go look for it,” Levi says and you nod, looping your arm through his. You and Levi absently walk around the bustling hall, not drawing much attention to yourselves.

“Might be over there,” You mumble, tugging his hand and walking him outside of the hall and down the hallway. He keeps his chuckle to yourself, clearly you’re on a mission.

You shove him inside an empty liquor storage closet and clumsily close the door behind you. A satisfied grin spills across your lips, and you stand by the door with your hands behind your back.

“Baby,” You whisper, “I didn’t lose m’purse.”

“I know,” Levi whispers back, closing the short distance between you both and drawing you into his arms, “You didn’t  _ bring _ a purse, sweetheart.”

You giggle, nearly bouncing on the balls of your feet at his revelation. “I stole something,” You mumble.

“Of course you did,” Levi murmurs, his hands wandering of their own accord. He doesn’t even ask, only watching with amused eyes as you pluck something from inside the corset of your dress.

“Mistletoe,” You beam, “Now you have to kiss me.” You dangle the mistletoe above your head and sway in his arms, trying to entice him.

Levi scoffs and plucks the mistletoe from your fingers, tossing it behind him without a second thought. With an affronted gasp, you’re about to start scolding him for littering but he quiets you easily. With a firm but gentle push of you against the wall, a soft gasp escapes your lips when your back meets the concrete wall. You waste no time in yanking him closer to you to feverishly press your lips to his in a frenzy. Levi tastes alcohol as soon as he deepens the kiss, swallowing your moans and pouring his own euphoria into you.

His grip from around your waist tightens, his other hand snaking up and is loose around your throat. Excitement curls vaguely in your belly, a soft moan of his name- a plea, really- released into the space between. Levi cradles the column of your neck; the sweet flutter of your pulse against his fingertips is enough for you to moan softly once more. 

Levi pulls you to him harshly by the grip he has around your throat, a hazy look clouding over in your eyes at the motion. You suck on his bottom lip gently and bite down with a muffled giggle, a harsh breath fanning across your face as it escapes the confines of his mouth.

Fingers trace his shoulders over his blazer before impatiently trying to peel it off. You just want to feel him under your fingertips, feel how soft and pliant his skin is, feel how he bends to you…

Your hips roll into his unwittingly, a low ember igniting in your belly. Of course, you chase it, you chase it as far as you can. The air is alight with warmth and whiskey fueled lust- you can’t get enough of the way his body slots perfectly with yours. Levi pushes the hem of your velvet green dress up to your waist greedily with one hand, squeezing your exposed thigh. 

Levi doesn’t know where he wants to touch you first- the dress fits you like a glove, molding to your skin as if it was made for you. Of course he had caught people staring at you, even doing double takes at you as you walked by. You were the star of the show, and more importantly, you were the star of  _ his _ show.

You stop him before he can drop his lips to your chest. Instead, he licks a stripe up your neck and bits your earlobe, earning himself a shuddering sigh. A hint of his cherry lip balm tints your skin and he rubs it away with his thumb. Levi palms your ass over your dress, smacking generously and the sound echoes in the small supply closet. You giggle wantonly, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and brushing your fingers through his hair.

The metal of the gold necklace is cold against your neck but Levi’s hand around your throat warms you up instantly. And still, a shiver shoots down your spine.

“You,” Levi mutters, “Are so-”

His words are cut off by your impatient mouth, sealing your lips to his. But he pulls away for a breath, taking in your dazed, disheveled appearance. “So fuckin’ pretty,” Levi breathes, “Are you my pretty girl?”

His voice is low in your ear, filled with honey and whiskey and swirling around your senses like a vice. Your heart skips a beat, but you only curl your now bitten lips into a smirk. Levi shifts his hand, his thumb brushing your bottom lip teasingly. Parting your lips slowly, you swirl the tip of your tongue around his thumb and easily coat his finger with your spit.

Levi remembers a time when he would have been offended by the thought of his finger slipping into your mouth. Let alone your spit gathering on his finger.

“Good girl,” Levi murmurs, and you watch raptly as his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows,” Are you my good girl?”

“Always wanna be y’r good girl,” You slur after letting his thumb go with a  _ pop! _

He finagles with the zip on the back of your dress, wanting to palm your tits and  _ bury  _ his face in your skin. You push your chest towards him, wordlessly telling him how impatient you are for his touch on your tits.

Cold air rushes to your exposed chest once he pulls the corset of your dress to your belly, instantly pebbling your nipples. Levi is careful when he sucks a mark to your tits, only in places he can see. 

_ “Levi,”  _ You hum, tugging at his hair, “Baby, love y’r mouth…”

He squeezes your tits generously, thumb flicking over your nipples. Your body arches into his hold at the fleeting touch.

Levi’s ears perk up when he hears rustling from outside the door of the cramped supply closet. You hear nothing, blissfully unaware as you knead your tits and rock yourself against his thigh. A pout graces your features when he doesn’t give you the attention you want.

Levi kisses you slowly and deeply to distract you from him fixing your dress and zipping the corset back up. You sigh into his mouth happily, hands drifting over his chest. The knob on the door rattles and before either of you can pull apart from each other-

Jean stares at you both as if you have ten heads. Levi pushes you behind him, not wanting Jean to see more of you than he needs to. You giggle, wrapping an arm around his upper arm.

“Uh,” Jean says, scratching the back of his neck, “I-I-they asked me to get more bottles-“

“We’ll get them,” Levi says curtly, “Get out, Jean.”

“Bye, Jean!” You call with a tipsy smile. Jean shakes his head with rosy cheeks and stumbles out of the closet, muttering about  _ getting a room _ .

“Should probably head back out there,” You whisper, tugging his hand. 

“Yeah,” Levi says, “Let me fix your dress.”

His hands are light over your skin, tugging the corset of your dress up in place and making sure the skirt of the dress is unfurled. He fixes any stray flyaways of hair, adjusts your necklace and drops a kiss to your forehead. 

You lean into his touch with a blissed out smile, tugging him by the lapels of his dark green velvet blazer for one last kiss. 

“Hey,” You grin, “This lipstick passed the test.” And you’re right, your lipstick remains in place for the most part. It’s only a little faded, but here are very minimal traces of it on Levi’s skin. You thumb any faint stains away with the pad of your finger.

“How lucky for us,” Levi says dryly, leaning into your touch when you run your fingers through his hair to rustle it neatly in place. Levi leads you out of the closet once you’re both presentable with a hand on the small of your back and bottles of alcohol in both of your hands.

The air is crisp even in the interior of the decked out building, your eyes still mesmerized by the swirls of green, red, gold and the gentle sparkles bouncing off of the chandeliers. It’s all very romantic, filling your chest with a familiar feeling. A feeling that you get whenever you’re with Levi.

“Levi,” You breathe, “I love you.”

Levi turns his head slightly to meet your eyes with a small smile. He presses his lips to your forehead for a few seconds and you beam at him, diamonds in your eyes.

You know.

***

Levi pockets the few strips of pictures that you had taken with him in the photo booth. He’ll spend tomorrow morning deciding which picture he wants to keep in his wallet and which pictures he wants to keep in his office drawer.

He urges you to drink more water as the night winds down and your eyes become increasingly more slick with alcohol and fatigue. Levi’s glad they had opted to get a hotel room in the hotel that the event was being held rather than have to go all the way home. 

“Getting’ tired?” Levi murmurs, watching your eyes begin to droop. It’s well past midnight and your feet are beginning to ache. You nod at him.

“Let’s go then,” Levi says and you peel yourself from the seat to say your goodbyes and give tight hugs to the new recruits. And tell them that they had done a wonderful job of planning the party. 

Saying goodbye to Hange, Erwin, Nanaba and Mike always takes the longest. You give them tight hugs, telling them that you should get brunch in the morning-

_ “Maybe if we’re not all hungover,” Mike snorts. _

_ “Speak for yourself,” Nanaba says and elbows him playfully in the ribs. _

And  _ then _ , finally, you both head out with your hotel room keycard in your hands and Levi’s blazer around your shoulders. You lean heavily against him in the empty elevator, eyes closing of their own volition. You barely recognize Levi walking you to your hotel room, sitting you on the bed and peeling you out of your heels. 

“Hey, almost birthday boy,” You murmur once you’re bare faced and changed in bed with him.

“Hmmm?”

Levi doesn’t get an answer, only the sound of your steady breaths and the feeling of your hands fisting his sleep shirt. He kisses your forehead and kisses your lips, muttering a soft goodnight.

He sleeps.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. love lockdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an anniversary spent together, and an old memory. (levi gets pegged xo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on several asks sent to me (@vennilavee) on tumblr! enjoy

Levi has been knitting for a long time, for years now, since a little before his mother had gotten sick. His mother had been the one to teach him- she had tried to even as a young boy, but he hadn’t really paid attention to it until he was older. He remembers how happy she had been when he had woven his first wool scarf. It’s been several years since his mother passed away, but he still keeps his knack for knitting alive and well.

Besides, it’s a way for him to feel close to his mother.

Levi has his favorite techniques tucked away in his brain and his favorite types of fabrics tucked away in a royal blue box in the corner of his linen closet. His trusty knitting needles also sit in the same box. It’s been a while since he had taken them out.

But he has decided that he’s going to knit you a thick blanket. Who better than to knit a blanket for anyway?

Once you and Levi begin to rack up anniversaries, Levi feels the need to do something different. Neither of you had celebrated monthly anniversaries because you felt no reason to (other than a nice candlelit dinner for your six month anniversary), but this specific moment in time feels different. Mainly because he’s come to the calming realization that you are  _ it _ for him. And really, it’s a realization that has been brewing warmly for the last few months.

He’ll make it out of sunflower yellow yarn. The color that reminds him of you.

The idea is planted in his head about two months before and he sleeps on it. Before deciding that he wants to do it. It’ll take some time to finish, and he thinks he can have it done in a month or so.

Levi’s favorite way to knit is with a glass of whiskey and with the television turned on for background noise. With every stitch, he finds himself thinking of you- will you like it? He hopes you will- it’s not much, but it’s  _ him _ .

But he has nothing to worry about, because he knows you’ll appreciate it. It’s part of why he keeps you around, after all.

***

“Dude, you’re knitting her a blanket? Have you never heard of the sweater curse?” Mike asks incredulously, “I would think  _ you _ , as a well seasoned member in the knitting community, would know what the sweater curse is…”

“The  _ what _ ,” Levi says flatly. 

“The sweater curse,” Mike repeats with a raise of an eyebrow.

“You repeating it doesn’t tell me what it means. Spit it out.”

“It’s when someone who knits makes a sweater, or anything really, for their significant other. And then the couple inevitably breaks up, because one of them realizes that they put in way more effort than the other,” Mike says. He says it so knowingly, as if it’s fact.

Levi scoffs with a slow roll of his eyes. But still, something uneasy settles in his chest. He tries to quell it before it sprouts and blossoms, and he does a  _ mostly _ good job of it.

But Mike’s words stay with him for the rest of the day. Even when you had called him to say goodnight from your apartment, it had lingered in the back of his mind.

You could tell something was off- after all, you like to think you could read him like a book. Despite him giving you his full attention, you could tell he was distracted-

_ “Levi? Is everything okay?” You ask softly, “You seem... preoccupied.” _

_ “Yes,” He says instantly. _

_ With that, you don’t push him. But still you frown a little at him, wondering what could be bothering him. You decide to change the subject. It’s taken a while, but these days, if something was bothering him then he would tell you. _

_ After letting it fester for a bit and after he tried to work through his feelings on his own. _

_ “Hey, can I come over this weekend? I have something for you… And also your bed is comfier than mine.” _

_ “Just say you wanna sleep on my bed. No need for false pretenses.” _

_ “Well, it is a well known fact that your bed is superior to mine…” _

You don’t push him and Levi is grateful for that. Maybe he’ll voice his concerns when you come over.

***

The blanket that Levi is preparing for you still needs about a week of work, but they are coming along nicely if he says so himself. The material is soft- he’s particular about what he works with and for  _ you _ , he’s even more picky.

With each weave and stitch, he grows a tiny bit unsure about the stupid sweater curse. He curses Mike for putting such a stupid idea in his head. But what if it holds some truth to it? After all, he can vividly remember the instances of breakdowns in communication in the beginning- how many times he was so quick to jump to conclusions rather than talk things out with you.

He’s come a long way since then, but what if the stupid curse holds some truth to it?

His slight spiral takes a backseat when his phone vibrates, a text from you letting him know that you’ve just parked your car and you’ll be inside in a few minutes.

Levi makes his way to the lobby to greet you. Almost every time he does this, you protest, telling him that you can just meet him in his apartment. But every time, he greets you in the lobby whenever you visit him.

It’s small, but it makes your heart sing happily for your chivalrous man.

Levi takes your bags and touches your elbow lightly as you both wait for the elevator to ding. In the privacy of the elevator, you kiss him hello quickly. 

“How was the drive?” Levi asks, rubbing your wrist.

“Felt longer than usual,” You admit, stifling a yawn. Levi hums in acknowledgement and keeps a hovering touch over your elbow as you both walk side by side to his apartment. You allow yourself the luxury of resting your head against his shoulder as he unlocks the front door.

“I would’ve come to pick you up if you were tired,” Levi scolds gently.

You shrug, “I don’t mind the drive, baby.”

Pet names slip easily from your lips when you’re in each other’s privacy and comfort.

“Go change and wash up,” Levi murmurs, patting your ass fondly, “I have dinner ready. I’ll pour you a glass of wine, shiraz good?”

You hum wordlessly and squeeze his arm with a grin. As you fumble through your small duffel bag that you specifically use for whenever you stay over Levi’s place, nerves begin to fizz up in your veins.

You sincerely hope Levi enjoys the small gift you had for him. Pulling on one of Levi’s looser shirts, your favorite purple hoodie and cozy leggings, you pull the gift tucked away in the side of the duffle bag and hide it behind your back.

“Hi,” You mumble softly, molding yourself to his side in the kitchen where he is setting plates for you both, “I have something for you, baby.”

“And what’s that?” Levi asks, bringing you in front of him and pressing your back against the kitchen countertop.

“Sit with me on the couch,” You murmur, tugging his hand in yours gently. Levi sees a small package in your hands as you not discreetly try to hide it from him.

You seem a little nervous, picking at the hem of your hoodie before finally raising your eyes to meet his.

You hope he likes it.

“It’s not much,” You mumble, “But…”

Levi unwraps the blue wrapping paper dotted with little cartoon stars on it with a raised eyebrow. His lips are pursed together in a thin line, wondering what it could possibly be and how he didn’t know you were planning to gift him something.

He thinks about the nearly completed blanket hidden in his bottom dresser drawer.

“It’s getting cold, and I know you don’t like how cold your neck gets in the winter,” You say, watching with wide eyes as he pulls out a rich navy sweater from the wrapping paper. It’s warm to the touch, the material thick and of good quality.

It doesn’t feel store bought.

“Did you- did you  _ make _ this?” Levi says, almost incredulously, “You made this for me? Since when do you knit?”

“I don’t,” You say sheepishly, “You like knitting and I wanted to make something that you like. Or try to make something at least. If it’s shorter on one arm than the other, mind your business.”

Levi rolls his eyes and pats your head fondly. It had taken you  _ months _ and hours to figure out what you were doing, with the help of videos and the elderly lady that you bought your fruits from on Saturdays.

He can’t believe you had done this right under his nose. But should he be so surprised, considering he is doing the same?

He wants to tell you about the blanket sitting at the bottom of his drawer, but he refrains. The sweater is a rich, blue that brings out his eyes (at least, according to you).

Levi instantly takes his shirt off to pull the sweater over his torso as you watch with hearts in your eyes. 

“I know it’s not much… Do you-mmph-”

Your sentence is cut off by the abrupt press of his lips on yours. Levi leans over, laying his weight on top of you and kisses you soundly- his tongue slipping in your mouth with the tilt of his head. The material of the sweater tickles your chin and your cheeks. You’re surrounded by him- his kiss, his touch, his distinct love.

Levi knew he was worrying for no reason. The sweater curse might exist for other couples, but not for you both. 

“Thank you,” He mumbles into your neck, his cheeks heating up, “It’s really warm.”

You only beam at him, adoration clear in the edges of your smile. Levi looks handsome, infinitely more handsome than usual since he’s wearing something that  _ you _ made for him.

Your love looks good on him. 

***

The memory of the sweater curse is amusing now, when Levi looks back on it.  _ Now _ , five years later, he’s with you at a winery in celebration of your anniversary. You’re spending the night at a nearby hotel- you had picked the winery and Levi had picked the hotel.

If Levi was a painter, he thinks this would be the perfect picture to paint. You, in a sea of green vines and a clear sky beaming down on you. You, with your glowing skin and mischievous eyes.  _ You _ , with love sitting in every crevice of your smile that you give him.

Maybe someday he’ll paint it. You, his sunshine personified.

“Mmm, Levi darling. Don’t you think this red wine contains a note of blueberry? Perhaps some...how do you say...raspberry?” You giggle behind your wine glass, the liquid swirling around carelessly.

“It’s a pomegranate wine sweetheart,” Levi says in amusement. You always do this at wine tastings, pretend like you’re an actual sommelier when in reality you and Levi mostly believe that all wine tastes the same. 

“Close enough. It’s in the same family,” You huff.

“Oh is it? Blueberries taste like pomegranates now? What kind of berries have you been eating?”

“It’s called wine. You should try it sometime.”

That earns you a subtle swat of your ass and you giggle happily.

“It’s gorgeous out,” You sigh.

“Yes, it’s almost as gorgeous as you,” Levi says flatly and you nearly throw a slab of cheese at his chest, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Tell me you think I’m pretty.”

“You already know I do.”

“Tell me anyway. It’s my birthday, remember?”

“Your birthday just passed.”

“Okay, and? It’s still my birthday season.”

“You know you’re gorgeous. You know I think you’re gorgeous,” Levi rolls his eyes and then smirks, “But you’re prettiest when your mouth is stuffed full of-“

“I’ll blow you right here in these vines, don’t test me.”

“Stop making empty promises that were both too classy for and finish your damn wine.”

You beam at him and clink your glass noisily. It nearly slips from your grip but you catch it in time.

“We have about an hour until the wine tour. Think we can finish this bottle by then?” Levi murmurs, tugging on your hand for you to settle in his lap. 

The vines you’re seated in are far, far away from the main entrance of the winery. Away from prying eyes. Which is why you both allow for a little touching, a little kissing and a lot of flirting. 

“Who do you take us for?” You mumble and turn your head to kiss him lightly, “We’re wine connoisseurs.  _ Sommeliers _ , if you will-“

You laugh wildly when Levi playfully nips your neck and steals a sip of your fruity wine. He wraps an arm around your waist, holding you tightly. His long, lithe fingers brush against your bare thigh. It’s funny, even after all these years, he still manages to touch you in a way that feels like magic. 

You both finish your glasses of wine and eagerly fill them both up to finish off the bottle.

Your lips are stained a pretty red, matching Levi’s own lips. You touch his lips with your fingers and he doesn’t even swat your grabby hands away.

“There’s some cheese at the corner of your mouth,” You say flatly, “I’ll just get it off-“

You kiss him and he expects it, already used to your antics. He doesn’t let you get very far, only allowing you to slip your tongue into his mouth and only allowing himself a plentiful grab of your ass.

“Wow, Levi, keep your hands to yourself. We’re in public,” You laugh to yourself, shooting him a pretend glare.

Levi only sighs and pops a cracker and cheese into his mouth, his hands never leaving the curve of your ass. Your giggles are higher pitched than usual, your limbs and your lips a little looser. 

Tipsiness colors your dark eyes when Levi pulls your sunglasses off. “You’re not fooling anybody, sweetheart,” Levi jeers, “You're drunk off your ass.”

“No! I’ve only had like… two glasses!” You protest, grabbing your sunglasses back from him.

Levi looks at you in disbelief but says nothing. He indulges you in taking selfies with him and deciding to change your lockscreen to a new photo of both of you.

He can’t resist kissing your cheek after another half a glass of wine. “Mmm, you’re pretty,” Levi murmurs into your neck, his face warm, “You wore this dress for me?”

It’s one of his favorite dresses and his favorite color on you, and  _ yes _ , maybe you did wear it because you’re very well acquainted with this information. 

“No,” You roll your eyes and ignore the pinch to your waist as he tightens his arm around you, “I wore it for the wine tour guide. She’s really pretty, I might ask for her number-”

You swat his shoulder when he has the audacity to bite your neck in response. “I’d call you a vampire but you’re looking more golden than usual, my love,” You poke him, “That’s what happens when you get more than two minutes of sun per day-”

“You’ve got a mouth on you today, huh?”

“Gonna fuck the attitude outta me or what?”

“Tempting, but I’ve got wines to taste.”

***

Once the wine tour starts and you both get progressively more and more tipsy, blaming it on both of your affinities for wine, you make grabby hands for Levi’s cheese and crackers. He glares at you, close to pushing your hand away, but you stick your tongue out at him and swipe them anyway.

“God,  _ fuck _ , you know what would taste good with this wine,” You whisper (but really it’s more of a low groan).

“What?”

“Fuckin’  _ Thai _ food,” You moan, cracker crumbs sticking to the side of your mouth, “Fuck, babe, I could go for some pad see ew…”

You huff, a dreamy sort of look in your eyes at the thought of it.

“You’re interrupting the wine guide,” Levi scolds, swatting your thigh. Though his eyes are starting to unfocus as the heat of your thigh feels so  _ nice _ in his palm. He thinks he’ll leave his hand there for a bit.

“This tastes like I just dunked my head into a crisp apple and sucked the juice out of it,” You murmur, giving him a mild cider.

“Like in a good way?” Levi whispers.

“Duh.”

The wine tour consists of a few other couples and groups, but you and Levi keep to yourselves at a corner table as you give each wine you taste a rating. They all begin to blend in with each other after each taste, and pretty soon, you’re heavily leaning against Levi. The scent of his warm, spicy cologne curls around you and envelopes you in a hazy daydream filled with shades of grey.

“What?” Levi whispers when he sees you staring (a little dopily, he might add).

“Nothin’,” You grin, “Wanna nap at the hotel after this?”

“Can’t believe we’re getting drunk just to  _ nap _ together,” Levi scoffs but he squeezes your hand.

“We have reservations later,” You remind him, “We both need to rally before dinner, honey.”

***

“Are you ready, baby?” You purr, stroking Levi’s hair back and leaning over to kiss his forehead. A pretty peachy pink blush colors his cheeks and creeps down to his neck. You tug his bottom lip out from the grip of his teeth.

A thin sheen of sweat coats his skin. You grin salaciously with hungry eyes and lick a stripe up his neck. His breath hitches, tilting his neck to the side a bit and you kiss his neck even over his pretty necklace with a green pendant hanging on the gold chain.

It’s pretty because it’s  _ your  _ necklace.

The softness of your lips over his skin- his chiseled chest, his lower abs- is a nice compliment to your fingers gently skimming his sides. You sit back, looking down at him from above. You lick your lips to moisten your suddenly dry mouth.

You’ve seen Levi like this, pliant and glistening for you too many times to count. But still, the sight of him flusters you and sends an instant rush of wetness flooding your pussy.

You adjust the straps of the black harness around your hips, tugging at the pretty purple silicone cock that hangs heavy between your legs. Levi tracks your movement with blown out eyes and a hand wrapped around his own thick, dripping cock.

“Did you like my fingers, baby,” You murmur, letting your hands travel up the expanse of his chest. His muscles tense with your touch, goosebumps arising instantly.

Levi hums, reaching for your hands and rubbing your knuckles. 

“Mmm, words, my love,” You mumble, pressing a thumb to his plump bottom lip. His hot breath warms your finger when he opens his mouth to reply with a soft ‘ _ yes, sweetheart’ _ , his voice heady and low. Broken and slow with desire for you.

You pull away from his lips, ignoring the way arousal swirls in your belly and your clit throbs with how needy he looks already. You reach forward and stroke his cock languidly and gather his wetness over your thumb and press your thumb to his bottom lip again.

“Open, baby,” You say, your own voice sounding a little raspy, “Open up.”

Levi parts his lips and allows your thumb into his mouth and he swirls his tongue over it, tasting himself on his lips. You groan at the sight with hooded eyes, wishing for some friction over your clit.

You look like a vision hovering over him- your legs tanned and glowing, eyes zeroed in on him, looking at him like you want to absolutely  _ ruin _ him. You are a goddess, and he’ll follow you wherever you might take him.

Especially when you slide into him slowly, deliciously, as he savors the slight burn as it dissipates into pleasure. Your grip is tight over his hips, warmth and electricity spreading from your fingertips to his belly.

You’ll ruin him, ruin the silky navy sheets below him, steal his soul from his cock. All of the above. Anything you give him, he’ll take. He’ll take it with open lips and open legs.

It doesn’t take much for you to find a rhythm with your palms flat on the sheets on either side of Levi. Arousal licks your insides at every gaze of his heated cheeks and his murky, grey eyes. He’s openly vocal with you, panting and mewling into the sheets, alternating between fisting them and holding your hips with a searing grip.

“God, baby, look at you,” You whine, leaving open mouthed kisses to his chest while still rocking your hips into him, “Is this okay, baby? I love you-”

Levi groans and nods, wrapping his legs around your waist for a deeper grind of your cock. He palms your tits, squeezing in his large hands and moans into the space between you both.

“Are you wet,” Levi asks in a strangled voice.

“Fuck yeah,” You grin, thrusting your hips in a slow grind into him. His cock is  _ throbbing _ , standing tall and pretty for you. You stroke him slowly, matching your thrusts with your strokes.

It takes coordination, but you’re used to it.

“Wanna sit on my face?” Levi murmurs, squeezing your thighs with his heavy hands. He’s close, so close, and you both know it- his thighs begin to quake slightly. And he has the familiar look in his face when he’s about to cum, his eyes go dark, lips parted and his eyebrows are furrowed into a tight line. 

“Mmm, maybe later,” You reply instantly, wanting to see him come undone by your hands and by your cock. By  _ you _ , by the steadfast beat of love that surrounds you both and envelopes you on this silky sweet cotton candy cloud.

Or maybe it’s just the sheets.

“Is my baby close?” You purr, dark eyes swirling, “My baby’s gonna cum?”

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Levi groans, throwing his head back onto the bed when you thrust into him particularly harshly. The column of his pretty throat is exposed to you and you lean forward, his cock still in one hand. Sucking a mark on his clavicle, you nip his earlobe and his breath hitches as you make your way down his chest.

“Your cock is so big in my hands,” You marvel softly, looking down, “You’re so  _ big _ , baby…So good to me. My big, strong, sexy man.”

And apparently, that’s what he needs to finally cum, a long, drawn out groan of your name slipping out of his mouth as he shakes in your hold. Ribbons of cum paint your hand and his lower abs, some of it even spraying on your harness.

“You’re messy,” You tease and Levi only hums in acknowledgement, “Are you okay? I’ll go get you water and clean you up, sweetheart.”

Levi doesn’t move, only shifting on his side tiredly. You make your way to the fancy, marbled bathroom to unclasp the harness and clean yourself up. Your pussy still throbs, achingly so, but that’s the last thing on your mind.

He calls your name gruffly, voice a little hoarse. You return to him with a glass of water and wrap your arms around him from behind, kissing the back of his neck gently. Your fingers thread over his sore muscles, his abdomen and his thighs and you rub his scalp soothingly with a deft touch.

“Are you okay?” You murmur, hugging him close to your chest.

“Yes,” Levi says instantly, “More than okay.” He turns in your arms and pushes his head into your bare chest, inhaling deeply and innocently grabs your ass. Just to hold you close- his touch is mostly unassuming. He likes being close to you, touching you, just breathing with you after times like this when you steal his soul with your cock.

You glance down at him and smile, pushing his dark hair away from his forehead and press a kiss to his sweaty skin. Levi nuzzles his cheek further into your chest, a content hum rumbling in his chest. His thigh brushes against your aching core and you force yourself to stifle a groan. But he catches it, because he always does.

Your attentive man.

“You didn’t cum,” Levi states, letting his hand drift downwards to palm your sensitive pussy. 

“We have later for that,” You mumble, swatting his hand away but he doesn’t listen. He presses himself closer to you, sinking his lips into your neck and rubbing your clit lazily.

His long, lithe fingers slide into your wetness easily and you huff into his ear. “We have  _ now _ for that,” Levi murmurs, nipping your jaw as presses his finger into your dripping core, “Slow with me, baby.”

It doesn’t take much for you to cum, just a few strokes of his fingers in you and a few slow circles of his thumb on your clit. It hits you slowly, crawling up your toes before curling in your belly in a warm stroke of flames. It’s unhurried as it blooms in your belly, allowing you to savor every second of it.

“Sit on my face later,” Levi says, pulling you closer into his side. You throw a leg up around his hip and hum in agreement. You press a kiss to his clavicle, the slow of his heartbeat in tandem with the gentleness of your fingertips rolling through his hair.

“Happy anniversary, my love,” You mumble, kissing the corner of his mouth.

“Our anniversary was on Friday,” Levi says with a turn of his lips, earning himself a swat to his chest, “Happy anniversary, pretty girl.” 

Levi kisses your forehead, his knuckles brushing your cheek before dipping down for another kiss. 

“Cheers to many more,” You say, smiling into his kiss. He replies by deepening the kiss and pressing your back to the bed, allowing himself to drop on top of you. 

Levi’s touch has always made you feel infinite, and this time is no different.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
